Archive for the ‘me me me’ Category
My Top 10 Realizations After Being “Home” for the First Time in Nearly Six Years
In my post An American Expat in Italy Goes “Home,” I mentioned that I’d be posting a list of observations, so without further ado, here it is with some photos of “home,” the Anthracite Coal Region in Pennsylvania, thrown in for good measure:
My Top 10 Realizations After Being “Home” for the First Time in Nearly Six Years
10. I don’t like what clothes dryers do to my clothes. They’re *great* for towels and such, but actual clothes? No thanks.
9. It’s really hard to find healthy meal choices in U.S. restaurants that aren’t salads (which, if you don’t watch, can be more fat- and calorie-laden than, say, the steak).
8. Starbucks coffee is OK. I don’t love it, and I don’t hate it, but I definitely don’t think it’s worth the price.
7. Kids grow. FAST. And tall.
6. Having friends that you can see after five or ten years and pick up a conversation like you’ve never left off? Yeah, that’s awesome.
5. Christmas really isn’t the same without my grandparents.
4. I’d get way less work done in the mornings if I could just flip on talk shows. Man they’re addictive. Especially Ellen.
3. People eat out and/or order in a lot more than what I’m used to, which is next to never…and also most food in restaurants tasted *uber* salty to me.
2. On a related note, I really need to learn to make Chinese food.
And the number one realization after being “home” for the first time in nearly six years:
1. I wish my two homes were physically *much* closer together.
Expats, what do you notice after being away from “home” for a while?
An American Expat in Italy Goes “Home”
As many of you know, I was back in the US from mid-November to late December. This was my first trip “home” since February 2004.
Yes I write it in quotes; as much fun as I had there, you see, I was also extremely excited and happy to get back to P, the pooches,
and the three kids (who, incidentally, we believe may all be pregnant!).
Stateside, I spent lots of time with family and friends, visited Philadelphia, New York City (where I met two online friends for the first time and met up with an old college friend–none of whom are shown in the photo below!)
and Washington DC,
helped my mom make cookies (which she sells for Christmas),
and shopped. A lot. The Christmastime prices in American malls? Worth the price of the airline ticket, quite frankly.
For instance, P was amazed that I could get him a pair of Levi’s for $30 (€21) when they cost, oh five times that here. My other spectacular purchases for myself include a new iPod Touch (to make it easier to read English language books, mainly) and a new external hard drive.
NB: Anything technological/electronic costs *way* less in America than it does in Italy.
My biggest culture shock actually came very early on in the trip when I couldn’t. stop. speaking. Italian. It was the weirdest thing! On the plane over, no matter what language the person addressing me was speaking, I would answer in Italian…and only sometimes catch that I had done it–once purely by the blank look on a fellow passenger’s face.
The two hardest things to stop saying were “Ciao!,” “Grazie!,” and “Sì!” So I imagine I just looked like a really pretentious American for at least the first few days of the trip. Oh well.
The other thing that was hard to get used to? Things being open in the afternoon. So strange to be able to go shopping or *gasp* get something to eat between one and four! Lovely.
I still have lots of photos to go through and post on Flickr (and possibly here), and probably a lot of mental processing of the whole experience. Soon I’ll be publishing my Top 10 Realizations After Being “Home” for the First Time in Nearly Six Years so please check back!
2009 End of Year Meme
I first saw this Year End meme at Sundry Mourning, who originally copied it from Gwen’s Petty, Judgmental, Evil Thoughts back in 2004.
This year’s version follows, and you can also check out previous ones:
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Bottlefed a baby goat, raised another two baby goats besides, surprised my niece and nephew with a holiday visit to the States, was a finalist in the Bloggies, moved from my first house in Italy, got a blurb in a book, had my most successful freelance writing year to date, met several online friends in person! Yay!
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Resolutions aren’t my thing, but I did well with my personal goals, particularly professionally, and yes, I’ll set more again.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes, a few. Welcome to the world, babies!
4. Did anyone close to you die? My 39-year-old cousin of cancer in April.
5. What countries did you visit? Italy and the US.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? A completely furnished house.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? The dates we got the goats. Why? Because they’re my kids!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Once again this year, the expansion of my freelance writing career.
9. What was your biggest failure? Still not completing a novel. Grr….
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing too bad, I guess, as I don’t remember anything.
11. What was the best thing you bought? Aside from my plane tickets home, my glorious MacBook.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? P’s, for putting up with my six-week absence while dealing with dogs and goats and house issues, oh my!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Joe Lieberman’s.
14. Where did most of your money go? This trip to the US and the house.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Visiting the US!
16. What song will always remind you of 2009? Beyoncé’s Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer? Happier, fatter (definitely a few pounds more because of the US trip!), richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Worked on my novel.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Deciding whether to get a Mac. That should’ve been a no-brainer.
20. How did you spend Christmas? Christmas Eve at my dad’s house and Christmas at my brother’s. The whole family was at both.
21. Did you fall in love in 2009? One word: KIDS. Maaaaaaaa!
22. What was your favorite TV program? Uomo vs. Natura (Man vs. Wild)
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate is ugly.
24. What was the best book you read? Just one? The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Boh.
26. What did you want and get? To expand my writing career.
27. What did you want and not get? More of the house to be completed.
28. What was your favorite film of this year? The Men Who Stare at Goats. For obvious reasons, I imagine.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 33, and I think we were supposed to have a cookout but it rained. Maybe?
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Immeasurably more satisfying? Hmmm. I don’t know. I’m pretty happy with this year, although, again, I have to go back to having more of the house done.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Same as always but now with sheepskin boots!
32. What kept you sane? Furry friends.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Gotta be the Bear. See also #22.
34. What political issue stirred you the most? Don’t get me started on health care.
35. Who did you miss? Whoever wasn’t near me at any given time.
36. Who was the best new person you met? I met two online friends in NYC–both are amazing!
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. Mindfulness.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Rise up this mornin’,
Smiled with the risin’ sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin’ sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin’, “This is my message to you-ou-ou:”
Let me know if you do the year end meme!
Why I Would Want to Live *There*
Last night as my mom, niece, and I were leaving a restaurant (Italian, mind you), my mom stopped to talk with one of her former coworkers who happened to be seated nearby. My mom introduced me and mentioned I live in Italy.
“Why would you want to live there?” she responded.
I was beyond taken aback by the question. I know not everyone feels the desire to live and experience other cultures, but really? Why would I want to live in Italy? REALLY?
Completely baffled, I blanked but quickly blurted out, “Because I love it!” It wasn’t until later that I sat and thought about it. Of course I have lots of practical reasons I choose to live in Italy, including but not limited to the following:
- Paolo and all my fur babies
- Fresh delicious food (much of it from our own garden)
- The laidback lifestyle where I’m not pressured to have the latest gadget, iFillintheblank, etc.
- Living minutes from the sea and mountains
- Being surrounded by amazing history, culture, and beauty
- Pretty nice weather year-round
- How much healthier I feel since living there
But you know what? “Because I love it!” really sums it up best after all. It’s difficult to put my happiness and overwhelming sense of feeling I’m in the right place at the right time into words, spoken or written, but I know I feel it, and that is what’s important.
And as it turns out, that random, unexpected question really came at an interesting point during my first trip to America in nearly six years; I’m about two weeks in with another four to go, and I can honestly say I *know* I love (and miss) my life in Italy. There’s still a lot to process about this trip, but I’m grateful that I was pushed to explore at least some of that while I’m still living it.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m certainly enjoying my visit in the U.S. — this crazy Coal Region will always be home — but I have a new home I love now too.
And that’s reason enough for me to live there.
P.S. Buon compleanno to my amore (31) and to Bleeding Espresso (3)!
Adjusting to Expat Life in Italy
I’m finally getting around to answering more of your questions from way back when. After today’s answers, the only questions that remain, I believe, are blogging-related, and I’ve answered those in my FAQ page. Have you seen my new FAQ page by the way? Go ahead, click it! And let me know what you think!
OK, back to today’s post, which answers some questions about adjusting to life as an expat in Italy.
1. Janie (whose blog seems to have disappeared! Aiuto!) asked how I was received by the residents.
Actually *really* well. Sure, many wondered why I would choose to move here and be (gasp) so far away from my mother, but the villagers have always been really helpful and kind, even before I knew P.
I’ve mentioned plenty of times that it’s not uncommon to be given bags of fruit and other edible gifts, but the villagers are also always up for a chat or to help carry packages as well; in general, I have to say the people here are just nice, or at least they have been to me.
2. Knowing that I’m a lot addicted to reading, Franca asked about buying books here.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m *really* spoiled when it comes to books. People (including my mom) send me them rather often, and I also get quite a few review copies through the blog.
I very rarely order books, but in the past, I’ve just ordered through Amazon; you can use the UK site if you’re worried about shipping issues. There are also some Italy-based sellers such as IBS.it, Webster.it, and LaFeltrinelli.it that carry some English-language books as well.
3. Franca also asked about dealing with being away from family.
Hmm. Well, that’s something that is undoubtedly different for everyone. I consider myself extremely close emotionally to my family, but I haven’t lived physically close to them since I was 17 (except for a few summers).
I’ve had to rely on phone calls, letters, e-mails, etc., to keep in touch for quite a long time, so I suppose in a way I’m kind of used to being away from them now. The holidays and certain special occasions can be difficult, but how do you get through anything tough?
Me? I cry or I don’t; I keep myself busy or I don’t; I reminisce about the past or I don’t; I plan trips home or I don’t. You know, I don’t know. It’s really hard for me to give advice on this because what works for me won’t work for everyone–heck, what works for me one day may not work the next.
I guess my best advice is that you do your best to work through the feelings of missing your loved ones in your home country, and if you really feel like you’re unhappier here than you would be there, you move back.
Or at least that’s what I would do. I think.
Fellow expats or those who have moved away from “home,”
what are your adjustment tips?
Michelle Kaminsky is an American attorney-turned-freelance writer who lived in her family's ancestral village in Calabria, Italy for 15 years. This blog is now archived.
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