Top 10 Reasons Nutella Is Better Than a Boyfriend
**World Nutella Day Celebrates 5th Anniversary on February 5, 2011**
To get you all a little, ahem, in the mood for World Nutella Day, I’ve come up with the:
Top 10 Reasons Nutella Is Better Than a Boyfriend
10. He’s always interested in spooning.
9. He doesn’t care if you’re wearing make-up…heck he doesn’t even care if you’re clean.
8. When you decide you’re finished, you just put a lid on him and put him in the cupboard.
7. He doesn’t care how many Nutella jars you have open at the same time.
6. He’ll watch all your favorite shows, listen to your feelings, *and* provide chocolate.
5. He always lets you take the lead.
4. You don’t have to feel guilty about leaving Nutella at home to fend for himself.
3. He’s always, always, always sweet.
2. He’ll never ask you whether your last Nutella jar was bigger.
And the #1 reason Nutella is better than a boyfriend:
1. He satisfies your craving. Each. And. Every. Time.
I’m going to leave the “Top 10 Reasons Nutella Is Better Than a Girlfriend” to the other half of the Nutella-loving population, so if anyone out there is so inclined, feel free to post it and let me know! Also, everyone feel free to add your reasons why Nutella is better than a boyfriend/girlfriend here in the comments.
It’s almost here! February 5th is coming so fast!
Heating a House in Italy: Meet Our New Stufa
Lest anyone try to convince you that Calabria has a tropical climate, let me assure you–it’s gets *cold* here in the winter, especially the further you go up into the mountains (duh). And I know Cherrye is with me on this.
Seriously, I’ve seen people on message boards claim the temps never fall into the 40s. Please. We have *skiing* here for goodness’ sake!
The temps may not always be low like what I was getting used to in Pennsylvania, but there’s usually a good bit of humidity in the air and once that enters these old stone walls, tile floors, and *your bones*, well, you get the point, right?
Central heating here is rare, and indeed, quite expensive as electricity costs are outrageous. People turn to various solutions for heat: gas stoves, pellet stoves, old-fashioned fireplaces, and my favorite, the wood-burning stove.
This is our first winter in this house, which used to have an old fireplace that did precisely nothing for heating the place (P grew up in the house); it was one of the first things we gutted, in fact. So we’ve been making do with small electric space heaters only when we *absolutely* needed them. Still, I’m not looking forward to my next electric bill.
Even then, wearing several layers of clothes inside the house was normal, and in fact, necessary. I know this may seem strange to those of you who walk around in t-shirts in your house when it’s 30 degrees Fahrenheit outside, but trust me, that isn’t a common scene in Italy even *with* heat.
But then, just this past week, we joined the ranks of the “heated.” P had scouted out wood stoves while I was in America, and neither of us were thrilled with the selection or prices. So when I got back, I took to the Internet. We found something perfect, for a good price (including delivery), and it arrived within a week! I know!
P and his friend left the village in the morning to get the pipes and everything to go with it and had it installed within an hour.
Meet Sammy Stufa and her new best friend, Stella:
I seriously couldn’t love this thing more.
Not only does it heat up the entire top floor of the house, I can even melt my Nutella on top of it so it’s spreadable again! At some point, we’ll put ducts through the house to *really* circulate heat through the place, but as they say in Italy, “pian piano….”
(Hey, don’t forget World Nutella Day is coming up!)
Buon weekend! Stay warm!
My Top 10 Realizations After Being “Home” for the First Time in Nearly Six Years
In my post An American Expat in Italy Goes “Home,” I mentioned that I’d be posting a list of observations, so without further ado, here it is with some photos of “home,” the Anthracite Coal Region in Pennsylvania, thrown in for good measure:
My Top 10 Realizations After Being “Home” for the First Time in Nearly Six Years
10. I don’t like what clothes dryers do to my clothes. They’re *great* for towels and such, but actual clothes? No thanks.
9. It’s really hard to find healthy meal choices in U.S. restaurants that aren’t salads (which, if you don’t watch, can be more fat- and calorie-laden than, say, the steak).
8. Starbucks coffee is OK. I don’t love it, and I don’t hate it, but I definitely don’t think it’s worth the price.
7. Kids grow. FAST. And tall.
6. Having friends that you can see after five or ten years and pick up a conversation like you’ve never left off? Yeah, that’s awesome.
5. Christmas really isn’t the same without my grandparents.
4. I’d get way less work done in the mornings if I could just flip on talk shows. Man they’re addictive. Especially Ellen.
3. People eat out and/or order in a lot more than what I’m used to, which is next to never…and also most food in restaurants tasted *uber* salty to me.
2. On a related note, I really need to learn to make Chinese food.
And the number one realization after being “home” for the first time in nearly six years:
1. I wish my two homes were physically *much* closer together.
Expats, what do you notice after being away from “home” for a while?
Love Thursday: Emma’s Pasta Roni
One of the best parts about being back in America was that I got to spend time not only with my childhood friends, but also with some of their children. You know, their mini-mes — the ones who look just as you remember your friend looking at that age.
What an amazing experience, especially when the last time I was home some of them didn’t even exist…and now they’re actual people!
My friend Nicole and her husband Nathan (high school sweethearts!) have two daughters, Emma (8 in a couple weeks) and Ava (4), and new baby boy Colton. All ridiculously adorable, I assure you, and at least one of them is a writer/blogger in the making….
Yes, I got a little note on my Facebook page the other day that Emma noticed this in her Pasta Roni:
And it was Thursday.
Don’t you just *love* it?
Happy Love Thursday everyone!
Attempted Goat Escape Foiled by Quick-Thinking Maaaa
In late-breaking news, we have received word that one Carmelina Fabio took advantage of a weakly latched gate to escape from her pen.
Just moments ago, Goat Maaaa Fabio entered the garden and found a seemingly confused goat just outside the pen staring back her; her paaaartners in crime, Pasqualina and Margherita, remained inside the pen…equally confused, it seemed.
“Maaaaaaaaaaa!” cried Carmelina as she darted in the opposite direction, possibly startled by Goat Maaaa’s canine companions.
But Goat Maaaa didn’t panic. She quickly secured the dogs’ leash to a tree, walked casually toward the pen making faint tsking noises, unlatched the gate, entered, and turned to find Carmelina right behind her.
And another goat escape has been foiled.
Can’t get enough goat? Check out my new favorite website, All Things Goat and follow on Twitter @AllThingsGoat.
And if you’d like to have a virtual goat of your own, download the iPhone/iPod app, iGoat! It’s rather hilaaaarious.
Michelle Kaminsky is an American attorney-turned-freelance writer who lived in her family's ancestral village in Calabria, Italy for 15 years. This blog is now archived.
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