Archive for the ‘simplicity’ Category
Exploring New Directions: The Making of a Mission Statement
In my post Life Lessons in Southern Italy: It’s the Simple, Stupid, I quietly started down a new path for this blog as I begin processing my journey to where I am today — physically as well as psychologically. Although I’ve been writing here for years, up until now, I haven’t really stopped to evaluate the lifestyle choices I’ve made. Various posts have touched on this theme (The Meaning of Calabrian Life, Settling Into Southern Italy, and generally, I think, in all the Love Thursday posts, among others), but there’s nothing like the seven-year (itch) mark for the expat to take account of her life.
Yes, over the past seven and a half years, I’ve been so busy simply living (no pun intended), I wasn’t really processing it all — and I thought that “leading by example” for lack of a better term could help others follow their own dreams. And I still feel this is possible, but I’m ready for a slightly new direction. I’m ready to conquer challenges beyond learning a new language, starting a freelance writing career from nothing, and raising goats; I’m ready to delve into the emotions and thought processes behind my life’s changes and more explicitly help you identify areas in your life you’d like to improve as well.
I would be honored if you would accompany me on this journey.
I will be exploring various concepts that have become central to my daily life, including simplicity, being present in the moment, decluttering, making meals from scratch (continuing this theme, actually) acknowledging feelings deep within your soul, and much more, but please know there are no obligations here. I will be writing about a highly personalized journey to be sure, but hopefully with applications in your daily life as well.
It’s a journey that may not interest you in the least, and that’s OK. Even if you’ve been a Bleeding Espresso reader from the start and you feel like jumping off now, there are truly no hard feelings on my part. I wish you the best on your own life journey, and you’re welcome to come back at any time.
A blog is a living, breathing being, and mine follows my waves because I’m the one writing it — this is where I am in my life right now, and these are things I need to write about, not only to gain some clarity and perspective in my own mind but also to hopefully encourage you to do the same.
Look at your life: where you are, from where you’ve come, and where you’d like to go.
And I don’t necessarily mean physically.
Some of you got the impression from my last post that I believe simplicity and/or the good things in life can only be found in on a hilltop in rural southern Italy or even in Italy generally. Hardly. For some of you, life on my hilltop would be absolute hell. I can guarantee that. And life in Rome might not be much better for some of you either. Indeed, if you look around a bit, you’ll find plenty of disgruntled expats and former expats who can tell you all about their frustrations with living in Italy.
That’s not what you’ll find here, though, as I don’t dwell on the negatives naturally, but also because for me, the positives of living here so far outweigh the negatives for me that the latter are barely worth some quick Facebook rants. Always remember though, that I’ve been here for seven plus years, and I live a very particular kind of lifestyle — my experiences are mine and mine only.
I can’t and don’t speak for anyone else.
But my goal was never to convince you to move to Italy. It’s certainly not the right choice for everyone or even most people. And that’s why I’m giving fair warning that this blog is destined to veer off the subject of Italy as I explore universal concepts that apply to human emotions and actions no matter where you live; at the same time, though, I can’t deny that my location — consciously chosen by me because I felt in my very being that I was meant to be here in my ancestors’ village — has played an important role in my personal journey and my lifestyle choices, so the shadow of Calabria will likely never be too far behind.
No matter our physical locations, though, it’s important to acknowledge that we are all just doing our best to maneuver through this agrodolce vita — bittersweet life. No life anywhere is dolce all the time, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try to find some sweetness in each and every moment. For me, simplifying certain aspects of my life has helped me do that, and I’d love to tell you more about it.
I hope you’d love to listen and share your experiences as well.
Life Lessons in Southern Italy: It’s the Simple, Stupid
Seven and a half years ago, I leaped off a path that was leading me to a place I didn’t want to go as a person I didn’t want to become. I was living in a large American city armed with a law degree and a recently completed appellate judicial clerkship. The next logical, practical step was a position with a large law firm — or at least some well-paying attorney job.
The only problem was that years before, I had already stopped wanting the so-called American Dream — the bigger house, the bigger car, the bigger and more more more. Something about it just didn’t feel right for me, and I needed to get far, far away from it. Literally.
Maybe by putting this physical distance between us, I was making sure I wouldn’t somehow get sucked in by staying too close. Maybe I just needed a break after 21 consecutive years of schooling (out of my 25 total years). Whatever the reason, moving to my ancestors’ village in southern Italy in 2003 made total sense to me. I came here knowing full well what I wanted to get away from.
What I didn’t know, or at least I hadn’t verbalized, was what I was searching for.
Over the past several months, I’ve been reading minimalist/lifestyle blogs such as Zen Habits, Rowdy Kittens, The Art of Non-Conformity, and Ridiculously Extraordinary, and with each post and “Aha!” moment, the realization has become clearer. The things they’re writing about so beautifully? I’ve been living them for the past seven and a half years. It was simplicity I had been seeking, and I most certainly found it here.
Or, as I like to put it, “It’s the simple, stupid.”
Aside from work obligations, my life now revolves around what the humans need (mostly lunch and dinner) and what the animals need, not necessarily in that order. I shop at the market nearly every day for fresh ingredients, never keeping huge stockpiles of anything — not only because there’s no Costco, but also because there’s very little storage space in a typical Italian house. Everything is smaller in Italy (think opposite of Texas), so your refrigerator and freezer don’t hold as much, your washer does what you used to think were half-loads, and your dryer? Well you probably don’t even have a clothes dryer, but if you do, you use it sparingly because your bank account groans with each spin cycle.
In fact, the scar from your first winter ENEL bill is still so fresh, you remember to turn the light off as you leave a room each and every time — and your late grandfather’s voice echoes in your mind as you go around flicking off lights muttering something about not owning stock in the electric company. Actually, you pretty much only use artificial light before dawn and after dusk, and you also opt for natural air conditioning (open windows and balcony doors) and insulation (more layers of clothes and gratuitous snuggling).
And because in the height of summer, mountain springs dry up and pathetic ditches they call river beds suddenly appear roadside, your dishwater waters plants, and even then only when the sun isn’t beating down and only when they absolutely need it.
You get creative about reusing everything you can from coffee grounds to plastic containers of all shapes and sizes; who knew those huge plastic jugs of American coffee sold in bulk (thanks Mom!) are absolutely perfect for scooping goat chow out of a feed bag?!
You learn that growing and raising much of your food is not only great for your wallet and waistline, it’s also relaxing for your mind and spirit as you go about your daily chores; moreover, taking care of living things from birth to death whether it’s a rabbit or a tomato plant reminds you to be present in each moment because life — for all of us — is fleeting.
Perhaps best of all, you truly, truly appreciate the small stuff — after all, most days, that’s all you have. And it’s plenty. Sure, trips to exotic locations make for good Bucket List filler, but have you ever watched a hen flipping and flopping around during her morning dirt bath? Nothing like it in the world, I tell you. Nothing.
Yes, it was always the simple, stupid. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, and so much more.
Michelle Kaminsky is an American attorney-turned-freelance writer who lived in her family's ancestral village in Calabria, Italy for 15 years. This blog is now archived.
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