Bleeding Espresso

16 March 2009

The Meaning of (Calabrian) Life

In my recent call for questions, Jen of A2eatwrite asked:

Okay… from a Calabrian viewpoint – what is the meaning of life? And yes, I’m being serious. I’m not looking for the “ultimate” answer, just what you think the local answer would be.

This is a fabulous question, and first let me preface my answer by saying I certainly don’t presume to speak for all Calabrians, who are a rather varied group despite the basic, deep Calabrese pride that runs throughout the toe of the boot.

Calabrians work in all industries from agriculture to technology from Cosenza to Milano and beyond (even in the CIA!), so let me begin by painting the picture of the small group of old-fashioned Calabrians I’ll be drawing from in formulating my answer:

I live in a hilltop village of about 350 people, most of which are probably over the age of 65. The houses are built on top of one another, more or less, as space used to be limited; the village used to hold as many as 12,000 people.

On the sides of the hill leading up the village, there are many plots of land, most of which are still used as garden spaces or places to keep animals.

So for many of these traditional Calabrians, those who still get up at sunrise to feed the hens, pick olives, or till the soil for a new planting of tomatoes, I’d say the meaning of life is rather simple—to wake up relatively healthy each day, strong enough to have the opportunity to take care of whatever needs to be taken care of, whether it be the land, the house, or the family.

And when they have a little left over, well it’s time to go off to the neighbor’s house and share.

I think that’s what the Calabrians I know are best at doing and what they strive to do each and every day—they do what needs to be done for themselves and their loved ones, and then go one step further and help out friends and neighbors when bounty allows.

It seems to me, for many here, immense satisfaction comes from simply knowing they do what they have to do and if they are able to share beyond that, all the better. This allows them to sleep well at night even if their beds creak with every slight movement and are held up by frames tied together by old rags.

You’ll perhaps notice I didn’t mention elaborate several course family dinners, which are certainly a big part of southern Italian life. I can’t possibly overstate the importance of fresh, homemade food and wine to the average Calabrian, and of course that’s what a lot of that hard work accomplishes.

But I also didn’t talk about sitting back and relaxing with a nice glass of homemade wine while gazing at the sea. Yes, some of that goes on down here, but more by the younger generations; the older generations hardly have time for such frivolous things with all the work they’re always busy doing.

Jen, thank you for pushing me to verbalize exactly why I love living here so much.

I am so very blessed to live among such wonderful, hard-working, kind people who provide, along with a never-ending supply of figs, lemons, and oranges, constant inspiration to be a better person in ways that truly matter.

35 beans of wisdom »

35 beans of wisdom to “The Meaning of (Calabrian) Life”

awedree on 16 Mar 2009 at 7:01 am #

This is beautiful. A beautiful way to live. I think this is exactly the kind of thing we’re missing in most of the urban/industrial/working world. To put your very best into each and every day, love, be healthy and give SHOULD be the meaning of life. This is what makes us human and helps us sleep at night.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful reminder with us , Michelle.

Thanks for reading and for sharing your thoughts, Awedree. Lovely
Gil on 16 Mar 2009 at 7:28 am #

What a tremendous answer to that question. It kind of warmed my heart to read that there are still people like your neighbors left in this modern and plastic World.

Thank you again!

It’s always good to be reminded of good, isn’t it? This is why I rather hate watching TV news (in any language)….
Kim B. on 16 Mar 2009 at 9:22 am #

wonderful question and thoughtful answer, which was a pleasure to read this monday morning! thanks michelle for illustrating your neighbors so beautifully!

So glad you enjoyed Kim
joanne at frutto della passione on 16 Mar 2009 at 9:59 am #

Isn’t it funny how (even with all our complaining) it takes answering another person’s question to remind us why we are here and why we love it here (when we aren’t hating it that is)?

joanne at frutto della passione’s last blog post..Penne rigate alla Vodka – Penne in Vodka sauce

Perfectly said, Joanne
Lizette on 16 Mar 2009 at 10:31 am #

What a beautiful blog you have here! This post is absolutely gorgeous – I just love Calabria and have spent 3 summers in Capo Vaticano with my husband and 2 small children. One year we went to an almost deserted little village, Motta di Filicastro, and since then I know where I want to spend my afternoons when I retire from work in 20 years or so:) I will definitely come back to visit you, take care//Lizette

Lizette’s last blog post..Sorrisi

Benvenuta Lizette! Come back often
Irene on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:11 am #

Good morning, Michelle,
I have asked myself the question “what do they find about their lives that makes them interesting and happy” about many of my husband’s relatives. I wonder if it is genetic. Is it a gene I miss, that of standing still and be pleased where I am, or is it an extra gene that pushes me further, not necessarily better, but further into the stratosphere? I shall probably never know until my days on Earth are over. But I must say, I do admire that devotion to the every day tasks, that reassuring quality of doing the same things week after week and looking forward to them. Whatever you do this week, enjoy!

Irene’s last blog post..Menu Plan Monday-What to eat at Lent

You know as outsiders it’s easier for us to look and analyze these things…and yet the answers don’t always come so easily….
Cherrye at My Bella Vita on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:15 am #

Nicely said!

Cherrye at My Bella Vita’s last blog post..The Life and Legacy of Buddy Moore

Grazie bella
nyc/caribbean ragazza on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:29 am #

Beautifully written Michelle.

I think in the race for bigger, better, faster we sometimes forget about the meaning of life.

nyc/caribbean ragazza’s last blog post..Okibà Mozzarella Bar Comes to Campo de Fiori.

Things can sometimes be quite simple if we just let them
Willym on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:30 am #

I will be sharing this with my Calabrian friends – both here and back home in Canada. And also witha few of my ex-pat friends who have become frustrated with life here in Rome – as we all do every so often. A beautifully written testiment. Grazie tanti.

Willym’s last blog post..Gratuitous Puppy Pictures

Thank you for sharing it, Willym; so glad you enjoyed
Scintilla on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:44 am #

Nice post. You’ve summed up my grandmother who never could sit still and even then was always crocheting or knitting. Must be the Calabrian blood.
The Neapolitans (men) at Positano certainly don’t have any qualms about sitting on a low wall watching the world go by.

Scintilla’s last blog post..What’s flowering in my garden in Positano.

Hah, actually a lot of the *men* here seem to lounge around more than the women…go figure
Karen on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:52 am #

Fantastic answer!

Karen’s last blog post..Viva San Giuseppe!

Thanks Karen!
milanese masala on 16 Mar 2009 at 12:07 pm #

I had no idea how small your town is. Was it hard for you to get used to that sort of lifestyle or was it a welcome change from what you were used to?

milanese masala’s last blog post..C’è Crisi???

Actually I grew up in a very small town in the US…didn’t *really* appreciate it until living in other places, including the big city of Philadelphia, which I actually did love too, just in different ways
JenniferRafferty on 16 Mar 2009 at 12:49 pm #

This is a beautiful post, Michelle. Wonderful thoughts to reflect on as I start off my day here in Massachusetts. Thank you!

JenniferRafferty’s last blog post..Calabria-Simu o No Calabrisi?

Thank you for reading
My Melange on 16 Mar 2009 at 1:18 pm #

Very nice post, Michelle. Glad to know more about Calabria and their people.

My Melange’s last blog post..Dusting off the Italian Language Skills

Thanks Robin
Ciaochowlinda on 16 Mar 2009 at 1:34 pm #

Isn’t it funny how it takes a group of people living in a town of 350 people to let us know what’s really important in life? terrific post Michelle.

Ciaochowlinda’s last blog post..Il Paiolo

Funny indeed!
Laura at Ciao Amalfi on 16 Mar 2009 at 1:59 pm #

Ciao Michelle! What a beautiful post. You have described so well one of the aspects of Italian life I love and respect the most… that the immense satisfaction of life sometimes comes from the smallest things. Thank you for sharing!

Laura at Ciao Amalfi’s last blog post..Sunday Shout-out: South of Rome

Thank you for reading, Laura; so happy you liked it
Amber on 16 Mar 2009 at 4:04 pm #

How lovely! I think of all of Italy I would most like to live in your village. What strikes me is the simple and old fashioned notion of taking care of yourself and your land, animals, family etc… and with anything left-over, sharing what you have with a neighbor. This is exactly the kind of community I lived in when I was a child, and it is an environment I understand and appreciate. Thank goodness you found it and I am so happy for you! Michelle this is an evocative post that was enjoyable to read- and oh how I love the photos!

Thanks so much, Amber. I was really lucky to find a place that reminded me of home
LaBellaCosa on 16 Mar 2009 at 5:33 pm #

Michelle,

Wow, have been visiting your site regularly but have to take time to congratulate you on a magnificent piece. My thoughts were right there in your village as I read and as I pictured of the simple yet beautiful way of life you described…fantastic!!

LaBellaCosa’s last blog post..LaBellaCosa: Reading: “Bleeding Espresso » The Meaning of (Calabrian) Life” (http://twitthis.com/e66evb)

Aw, thanks so much! And thanks, as always, for visiting
betty on 16 Mar 2009 at 6:07 pm #

lovely post. i want to go there even more now.

Glad you enjoyed Betty…plenty of room in Calabria, so do think about coming
Susan on 16 Mar 2009 at 6:40 pm #

What a wonderful question and answer.
I so enjoyed this article .
Makes me want to be there even more than before.

Susan’s last blog post..I have been MIA

Come on over, Susan
vikksimmons on 16 Mar 2009 at 6:54 pm #

Lovely piece and I am so jealous of your lifestyle. Your photographs are terrific, too. Sounds like a perfect place for a writer’s retreat. I so need to get my book finished. You are creating a wonderful life for yourself. Thanks for sharing.

vikksimmons’s last blog post..A writer’s tools: Carrots, contests and chocolates

Excellent place to write! Come on over
Suzie on 16 Mar 2009 at 7:28 pm #

Michelle, you are wise and you have seen a different live to be able to appreciate the live in Badolato.
But what about the young Calabrian? Why are they all leaving their villages? They study in Rome and try to find work. Only a few lawyers and doctors have a chance to find work in Calabria. Also the younger generation finds Calabrian live too boring (nightlife wise etc.). Maybe they have to make other experiences before coming back and enjoying the slow and (mostly) peaceful live in Calabria.

Suzie’s last blog post..Tea in my Toilet and other bathroom deco

I think it’s the same in small towns all around the world…I came from a small town in the US that was similar to this but didn’t want to stay there, and now look where I am. I think it’s natural for young people to be curious about other ways to live and opportunities; some will be back and some won’t, depending on how they define the meaning of life, I suppose….
Milva Smith on 16 Mar 2009 at 9:35 pm #

Thank you Michelle for reminding me why I am so proud to be Italian!

Milva Smith’s last blog post..Primavera

My pleasure Milva! Thanks for coming by
Aimee on 17 Mar 2009 at 12:56 am #

What a neat post!

Glad you enjoyed, Aimee
MsGourmet on 17 Mar 2009 at 4:46 am #

Michelle I could have kept reading on and on about your hilltop life in Calabria. I smell a book begging to be written

MsGourmet’s last blog post..How it came to Bee

Hah, you never know….
saretta on 17 Mar 2009 at 11:49 am #

You really summed up contentment in a nutshell. The *more* we have, the less we have it (contentment, that is)…what a paradox.

saretta’s last blog post..Tigro

Agreed, Saretta. Agreed.
macculata on 17 Mar 2009 at 1:19 pm #

Oh Goodness. A profound question whose answer breathes simplicity…like the lives you describe. Your story and photo bring back a poignant memory. The woman leaning over the braciere caused a hitch in my heart. I saw my Zia Raffaela on the dirt floor of her Calabrian kitchen stirring up the coals in the pan. Dinner over, dishes washed in cold water, she gave me the braciere to take upstairs to the one bedroom in her little house. Young American, I was afraid to sleep with burning coals next to my bed; but the next morning I woke safe and warm and amazed at simple comforts. Thank you for taking me back down long ago paths.

What wonderful memories, Macculata! Thanks so much for sharing
Lenora on 17 Mar 2009 at 6:10 pm #

Loved this Calabrian post. That’s how I grew up in a small US town next door to my Calabrian grandparents, surrounded by their friends and families who had also immigrated from southern Italy in the early 1900’s. Extras from meals, garden produce, and eggs from the chickens (we did not even live on a farm), were always shared. My parents still feed the neighbors with vegetables from their backyard garden. I visited Calabria twice, and it’s so untouched by tourists, that it’s easy to settle into the beauty and traditions of Italy.

Lenora’s last blog post..The Italian Language

Thanks so much for your comment, Lenora. Where I grew up in the US was actually quite similar as well, so I’m happy I’ve been able to recreate that to a certain extent.
Emanuele (Michele's boyfriend) on 18 Mar 2009 at 9:57 am #

Penso che vivere in un posto del genere (si chiama Badolato, vero?) fa giusto il bene degli scrittori. Purtroppo per far vivere le nuove generazioni ci vogliono attivita’ sociali che esulano dalla felicita’ semplice del buon bicchiere di vino e dall’agreste vita quotidiana. Io parlo da chi ha vissuto fino a 20 anni a Ciro’ Marina, in provincia di Crotone e poi si e’ catapultato nella citta’ a Firenze.

Un abbraccio.

Emanuele (Michele’s boyfriend)’s last blog post..Prima puntata di trilogia: Bonsai della Grande Destra

Sì, Badolato. Mi ha detto Michele che sei Calabrese ma non sapevo che sei di Cirò…che buono quel vino rosso
Anali on 18 Mar 2009 at 5:16 pm #

Great question and answer! I wonder if the local tourism board knows all that you’re doing to make people want to visit! ; )

Anali’s last blog post..Not By Bread Alone

Hah, sometimes I wonder if we have one
Valentina on 20 Mar 2009 at 12:14 am #

Your post is great. It is really what I miss the most about life in Calabria. That way of living that I cannot find anywhere else.

Thanks so much, Valentina. Hopefully you get back to Calabria often enough to be able to enjoy it Thanks for visiting!
Maggie on 22 Mar 2009 at 12:35 am #

What a wonderful answer, the photos are gorgeous!

Maggie’s last blog post..Digestive Biscuits with Almonds

Thanks Maggie Always nice to “see” you here
vita on 23 Mar 2009 at 10:42 pm #

Love this post, Michelle. One of my favorites of yours!

Grazie mille Vita
Carlo on 13 Oct 2009 at 8:00 pm #

Michelle, how neat and terse a way to sum up how I have always wanted to live, why I chose when time came to transfer not to the center of Rome, preferring one town in the Castelli area on the hill SE of the capital, what my wife and I (Alisa and I are getting married with Buddhist blessing in 2 weeks in Bangkok) chose as gift from our friends, a donation to a Bangkok orphanage held by monks (Wat Bot Woradit in Pa Moke district). We already have enough to live, better share. Actually, it’s quite selfish because, according to Buddhist thought, we accumulate merit for afterlife, heh heh…

Thanks for keeping your sparkling blog so much alive and healthy.

Thank you for reading, Carlo, and congratulations! Sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate your love

Carlo´s last blog ..Undués – Sangüesa Il giorno del caffè
Carlo on 13 Oct 2009 at 8:05 pm #

Only now do I realize this was an old post of yours. Don’t know how I got here, but it was surely worth reading!

So glad you found it Carlo

Carlo´s last blog ..Undués – Sangüesa Il giorno del caffè