Whatever You Do, Don’t Eat the Free Figs

The other day I came home and found this on my doorstep:

When P came home, I told him, but we still didn’t know the identity of our Fig Fairy even though I had asked around the neighbors.

P told me: “Don’t eat the figs!”

Because, um, we live in medieval times in which our nemici might foil our dastardly plans with tainted figs left outside our house? Please.

Needless to say, I ignored him and ate three of them later that evening.

And then was awake most of the night with a stomachache. Gah!

I pretended like I had no idea what I could’ve eaten to cause the discomfort as I certainly couldn’t tell P I ate the figs.

Thankfully, the pain passed and the next morning, before I discarded the figs, I ran into a woman who owned up to being our Fig Fairy. I breathed a huge sigh of relief as she’s certainly one of the nicest signore around–yet another one of my nonne in the village.

And only then did I tell P the full tale of the figs, which he, of course, found hilarious.

I’m thinking I’ll just listen to him next time — just in case.

29 Beans of Wisdom to “Whatever You Do, Don’t Eat the Free Figs”
  1. Gil

    I think that you might have eaten too many figs and they got your digestive track going. I remember how sick my brother and I would get when my Grandfather brought a case of figs to us up in the sticks and we would eat more than we should.

    But…but…it was only three little ones! I think you’re right, though, mixed with a heavy dose of self-fulfilling prophecy. I’m good with that mind over matter thing sometimes πŸ˜‰

  2. 09.09.2008

    How bizarre!! Sorry that you got sick with the figs!

    Kim B.’s last blog post..I Should Have Chosen My Words More Carefully – “Important” Does Not Mean “Good”

    Well don’t feel too sorry…I’ve eaten many more figs without incident since then πŸ™‚

  3. Poverina! Glad that you’re okay now.

    nyc/caribbean ragazza’s last blog post..In honor of NYC Fashion week, one of my favorite scenes from Devil Wears Prada

    Thanks! I think I blame the election for my stomachache, actually πŸ˜‰

  4. I think it is b/c your stomach is used to stolen figs! THAT is what happened.

    Cherrye at My Bella Vita’s last blog post..Travel Tip Tuesday: Travel Guide Books Decoded Part I

    You may be on to something there….

  5. 09.09.2008

    A delicious story! It made me smile but I’m not sure about listening to him next time. It made me wish I had a fig fairy here.

    Di’s last blog post..Photos to follow …

    Well with the power of his suggestion, I think I’d just rather be safe than sorry…and try harder to find the Fig Fairy!

  6. 09.09.2008

    Ah, P will never let you live that one down! The figs look sinfully good but I’m not a big fan of how they taste.
    But your story reminded me of the time when I lived in Paris and my roommate and her boyfriend had pureed prunes from Agen. They were so tasty they finished the whole jar! And after a few hours they both woke up in the middle of the night, doubled over in pain shouting, “Oh, les pruneaux d’Agen!!”. Too funny!

    Milanese Masala’s last blog post..Separated at Birth?

    Ah see I know better than to mess with prunes at least πŸ˜‰

  7. 09.09.2008

    You can’t beat Cherrye’s comment. She is bang on the money.

    running42k’s last blog post..Election

    She knows me too well πŸ˜‰

  8. joanne at frutto della passione

    I’m sorry you were sick, but that was pretty funny. I had this whole little movie going in my head, P looking very serious and ominous music playing in the background as he told you not to eat the figs, they you slash him with your rapier wit and … well then it sort of becomes farce πŸ˜‰
    Glad the figs were proven innocent in the end.

    joanne at frutto della passione’s last blog post..How to eat Birthday Cake

    Yes, I’m glad the figs were redeemed as well…did you see how full that plate was?!

  9. 09.09.2008

    I would give anything to have a fig fairy…
    an italian fruit and veggie fairy that would come to my house! Perhaps a gelato fairy and a cheese fairy…oh my list goes on!
    They look luscious- I can almost taste them!

    Susan’s last blog post..Remembering My Dad…

    Ooh yes, I’d like *those* fairies too πŸ™‚

  10. 09.09.2008

    But, but, but…why? Why would you get sick. C’mon, inquiring minds want to know!!!

    I love fresh figs. With melon. Or honey and walnuts.

    My MΓ©lange’s last blog post..Travel Tip Tuesday: Polite Phrases

    I personally just think P jinxed me, but that’s my belief in malocchio talking πŸ˜‰

  11. Enza

    I am sorry you got sick from the figs but your story did give me my morning giggle!! Thanks!

    At least something good came out of it πŸ˜‰

  12. Kristin

    Too funny! I would have totally done what you did and would have eaten the darn figs! Stupid curse … Oops, did I just bring one on myself?

    Nah, I don’t think the curse is *that* strong. I hope not anyway.

  13. 09.09.2008

    I hope you feel better today!

    lucy’s last blog post..Music on My Blog

    Oh I felt much better the next morning…been eating figs ever since πŸ˜‰

  14. 09.09.2008

    It would have been hard for me to pass up free figs as well. Hope you’re feeling better today!

    Lisa’s last blog post..La Madonna del Carmine goes home

    Thanks Lisa! All better here, thanks πŸ™‚

  15. 09.09.2008

    Hope you are feeling a lot better now..I would of done what you did.

    I know what my husband would say ” Well I did say not to eat them” πŸ™‚

    anne’s last blog post..Back from Trip ..

    Hah, that’s *exactly* why I didn’t tell P that I had eaten them until I was sure they didn’t cause my stomachache (not in a poisoning way at least) πŸ˜‰

  16. 09.09.2008

    Oh, please…you got sick from something else! Nothing should stop you from eating figs!!! ;-)))

    Saretta’s last blog post..Saint Conrad’s Festival, part 2

    Agreed 100% Saretta πŸ™‚

  17. Aww, how could something so wonderful give you a bellyache? That’s a bummer. Glad you’re feeling better now though. πŸ™‚

    Susan from Food Blogga’s last blog post..Would a Chicken, Jalapeno, and Cheddar Quesadilla (and a cold beer) Make Tom Brady Feel Better?

    Thanks Susan, and don’t worry–I definitely haven’t held it against the figs πŸ™‚

  18. THe only fresh figs I’ve ever had weren’t very good, though I’m guessing it’ s not the easiest thing to purchase in our neck of the woods.

    Michelle at Scribbit’s last blog post..Crime Beat

    Well not everyone loves figs, but I can’t imagine that the ones you’d get in Alaska are some of the best either–they really don’t stay very long after they’re off the tree. You’ll just have to come on over and try for yourself πŸ™‚

  19. That’s such a funny story…but glad you’re feeling better now. What a cute presentation – I’d love to find it outside my door πŸ™‚

    erin :: the olive notes’s last blog post..travel photo friday

    I know! I love that fig leaf on top!

  20. 09.10.2008

    Funny. When I lived in Sicily, I often found figs (or lemons, oranges & prickly pears) on my door step and was always a little scared to eat them. I thought, “why don’t these fruit givers leave a little note so I know I’m not being poisoned!”

    Coleen’s last blog post..30 Weeks Pregnant

    I know, right? Would make enjoying these gifts that much easier πŸ˜‰

  21. 09.10.2008

    My goodness! Those figs look fabulous! Does your Fig Fairy do international deliveries?

    themommykelly’s last blog post..A Monday Kind of Tuesday

    Hah, I can ask πŸ˜‰

  22. 09.10.2008

    Mine keep dropping for lack of rain, rain which has been promised three times in a week. Yesterday was 10Β°C higher than normal. Poor, hopeless figs…
    I bought some Saturday in the market and made a fig and cheese tart for my neighbors’ dinner party, though.

    Judith in Umbria’s last blog post..Shocking cat news!

    I’m waiting for rain too, but at least our figs are holding up OK. That tart sounds lovely πŸ™‚

  23. 09.11.2008

    This SO cracked me up and feels so totally Italian to me.

    jen of a2eatwrite’s last blog post..What’s Cooking Wednesday: Fran’s Chicken

    Yes, I think it’s a rather uniquely Italian experience too πŸ™‚

  24. 09.11.2008

    they do look delicious though…. and I love the fig leaf that covers them. Ohhhhh Calabria, how I miss thee. Hope you’re well Michelle

    All is well here, Joe! Thanks πŸ™‚

  25. Diane

    I have a home in Sicily and during August eat a lot of figs, I have never had a problem maybe I have a very strong digestive system. Even if I have problems I would certainly not complain as the fruits in Sicily are out of this world. Living in Belgium brings it home to you, what is imported is dreadful. We gave up buying many of these fruits here unfortunately and stick to the rather boring stuff. This is not a criticism but just to say be thankful for what we have.

    I didn’t have a problem before with figs (been eating them for years!) and haven’t since (have had at least 20 since that episode, although not at once). I honestly don’t think it was them…but the malocchio that P put on me πŸ˜‰

  26. 09.11.2008

    Oh! Cara! I’d have eaten them too, I just love figs.
    Haven’t had fresh figs in about a hundred years. Sorry they bit you back!

    You know… you should do a fig recipe now, one of these Wednesdays…


    Scarlett & Viaggiatore

    Wanderlust Scarlett’s last blog post..In Remembrance

    I think I’ve eaten our fair share πŸ™‚

  27. 09.15.2008

    Cute story! I wish I had a fig fairy or any kind of fairy for that matter. Too bad you got sick though.

    annie’s last blog post..Apple Cobbler & Crisp

    No worries Annie; was worth the mild discomfort πŸ˜‰

  28. Nell

    Free figs are always to be eaten with gusto and dame the indigestion or consequences after, its not forever , I can never leave a fig uneaten.
    Other things not be left uneaten
    pomegranates , olives , lemons , melons grapes and especially prickly pears!

    Haha, I think you may be right, Nell πŸ™‚



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