You Know You’re in Italy When…
Yesterday over at Twitter, the always lovely and informative ExpatCoach asked those of us with, ahem, Italian experience to fill in the blank:
You know you’re in Italy when…
A smattering of what ExpatCoach, Cherrye, Miss Expatria, Tina, and I came up with, within minutes:
- …you can have a conversation with a stranger comprised entirely of facial expressions, hand gestures, and no words.
- …you can say, “Boh?” and you’ve said a mouthful.
- …you have to APPLY to complete an application for something.
- …you wait in line for three hours at the Post Office…to pay a bill.
- …your taxi driver’s hands are too busy waving & threatening other drivers to actually touch the steering wheel.
- …you pour the wine over-handed and your guests gasp and bless themselves.
- …your ability to digest milk (at any time of day) and drink ice cold drinks even while eating hot food astounds.
- …perfect strangers worry about your catching a cold because you’re not dressed warmly enough. In July.
- …you’re handed a scarf when you say your throat feels a bit scratchy.
- …you’re the only person at IKEA without their entire extended family in tow.
- …someone you just met invites you to dinner at their house.
- …€5 on a bottle of wine is a splurge.
- …posted schedules, hours of operation, etc. mean precisely nothing (except sciopero ones).
- …someone, somewhere is in sciopero.
- …you get honked at for letting an old lady cross the street.
- …someone thinks your turkey wrap is a foreign food they’d never touch.
- …your friend says “I quit drinking coffee. Now I only have three cups a day.”
- …you find figs on your doorstep.
And now I’ll add:
- …your morning errands take you to one shop for produce, another for bread, another for cheese, and yet another for meat–and you love every single minute of it.
I thought this woud be a fun weekend fill-in, so Italophiles, play along please:
You know you’re in Italy when…
Need some inspiration?
And be sure to visit ExpatCoach at Career By Choice and show her some love!
Buon weekend!
77 Beans of Wisdom to “You Know You’re in Italy When…”
« Older Comments-
[...] A group of Italophiles recently got together on Twitter to finish the sentence, “You know you̵... italylogue.com/italian-news/italy-news-092108.html
-
[...] Choice has just announced a contest revolving around last Friday’s post here at BE entitled You Kn... bleedingespresso.com/2008/09/ovarian-cancer-awarness-month-signs-symptoms.html
-
[...] the post “You Know You’re in Italy When…” that turned into a contest? Megan of C... bleedingespresso.com/2008/10/celebrating-italians-and-sprezzatura-on-columbus-day.html
-
[...] y es el tipico “sabes que has estado en …. mucho tiempo cuando”. Tomado de la web Blee... tcalo.com/index.php/you-know-you-have-been-in-italy-too-long-when.htm
Add your two beans of wisdom.
Recipes
Oh my – some of these are so funny!
I wish I were in Italy!
Kristen’s last blog post..Kid Friendly
Italy is definitely unique, Kristen…always a learning experience
[Reply]
I loved reading this! It brought back memories of when we visited italy in 2001.
I’ll add this from my experiences:
Never wear shorts in Southern Italy — men will gawk and women will frown
Ditto for sneakers
The smell of frying eggplants wakes you up in the morning from the house below.
Pretend you are about to pay for your bus ride at the machine in it and then “forget”… we saw so many do that!
Forget eatuing dinner in a restaurant before 9PM or they will know you are a tourist.
Never ask for a menu in the restaraunt — ask for the recommendations.
Never, never, have a cappucino after breakfast
Prepare fpr the best food you have ever eaten and gelato to die for!
Fun fun — thanks! Pat in NY
Pat’s last blog post..A Day On The Town With Blog Friends!
Glad you enjoyed Pat, and thanks for your additions
[Reply]
A little late, but here are some of mine:
when cars pass you….. at a stop sign
when you have to make a reservation at the post office to make a withdrawal
when people chitchat during mass
when you won’t go to the local pharmacy to buy certain medicines (or in my case, a pregnancy test) because you know that if someone from town is in there at the same time, everyone will know what you bought
when you’re out working in your garden and you hear the guy on the land next door singing at the top of his lungs
when an August event is a bocce tournament
… and these are just a few I thought of right now
Excellent Mary; I especially appreciate the pharmacy one
[Reply]
I can’t believe I typed “here” instead of “hear”. I’m horrified!
I completely missed it or I would’ve just fixed it. Now it’s done
[Reply]
Some I’ve thought of:
- when neighbors don’t pretend you CAN’T hear them from their terraces/inside your houses and provide input on your discussions/ask opinions on theirs
- when women ride bicycles over the cobblestones in knee-length skirts and three inch heels
- when you can’t remember what food doesn’t involve either mozzarella, oregano, pesto or something tomato based… or all of the above
- when people know you’re a foreigner until you put on sunglasses, in which case native Italians sometimes ask you for directions!
Love them Gabriella! Thanks for adding to the list
[Reply]
Andate un po’ a fare in culo, stronzi! (Just fuck off, assholes!)
Hah, your email seems rather appropriate (cazzone.gigante)
[Reply]
As Italian I think this is just a bunch of stereotypes. Maybe we can find a lot of them for americans too…
Napolux’s last blog post..Google Developer Day
Of course we can! Napolux, this was all in good fun (as most of us live in and love Italy), and if you read the responses carefully you’ll find a lot of the positive reasons we stay here (and why many of us aren’t in America anymore)
[Reply]
Shouldn’t we mention the Mafia, Camorra, and other honorable gentlemen at some point?
And now you have, although since I’m in Calabria, I’m privy to a different organization.
[Reply]
These are making me so homesick
You know you are in Italy when…
Random people give you lots food after very short conversations.
People in the store give you candy/aspirin/stamps/knick knacks instead of change (doesn’t happen so much anymore with the euro, happened alot before if there wasn’t an appropriate coin. I distinctly remember watching the confused face of an american tourist when given a mint as change.)
It’s considered perfectly normal for tv commercials to feature topless/nearly naked people (especially women)
And on a similar note.. female hosts on tv wear tiny itty bitty skirts/ plunging necklines. Even on kids’ shows.
Life and work stops for football (soccer)
You know and fear the word ‘Sciopero’ (strike)
Lunch breaks go on for half the afternoon (love that one)
Your school teacher hugs you and pinches your cheeks as a kid and then also when she sees you years later and you are now 20. (they might also inform you that you should eat more and invite you to dinner)
A guy will find it peftectly acceptable (even if he has a significant other) to pinch a woman whom he is not involved with’s behind and cat call passing girls. But consider it awful and disrepsectful to call a woman something like a bitch or say anything rude to his mother/ elder relative.
He would also defend women from such horrible swines and if anyone did that to his sister/daughter he would be furious. (I’ve known guys like that)
Alessia, these are all fabulous–love getting change with mints! Hah! There has been some talk lately about how women dress on TV, and I’ve noticed that the Veline have been almost entirely covered (for them) the past two nights…hmm….
So happy that you’re sharing your sense of humor about your country
[Reply]
You know you’re in Italy when…
Whenever you ask how far away something is the answer is always “10 minutes!”
A driver in a passing car will blow their horn to get your attention, then blow you a kiss…
The waiter leaves the bill and his name and phone number is on the back of it!
Everything you eat tastes fantastic!
A glass of wine is cheaper than a coke!
A guy on a motorbike is riding along with a cigarette in one hand and txting on his mobile with the other!
Hee hee…thanks for adding these Annette
[Reply]
… When you drive into a petrol station to fill your car and there is an attendant to do it for you – smoking a cigarette! (I kid you not.)
casalba’s last blog post..Tears & Laughter
Wow. Just. Wow.
[Reply]
When you’re having a deep philosophical or political conversation with men friends and a girl walks by and the conversation immediately turns to a consideration of a part of her anatomy
Every town takes a lifetime to figure out
People take any opinion seriously and run with it.
Non sequiturs are the order of the day.
People stare up and down at you in the subway
Excellent, Bill. Thanks so much for sharing
[Reply]
…when the smaller is the town, the nicer it is!
…when every street conversation seem to be born to make you (a stranger) part of it
….when in a small surface rest many centuries of history
…when every moment is good for a cigarette and the ground is a gigantic ashtray
you know you’re in Rome when in place of the number of the bus you can read “me sento shumacher!” (i feel like shumacher!), you step in and you don’t know where you’re going!!
…when a football match can change the mood of an entire city
Great additions uks! Thanks for stopping by
[Reply]
Ciao!
Gk’s last blog post..Pubblicità (Simpatiche) dal mondo. Parte Seconda
Ciao a te!
[Reply]
. . . When you witness an Italian fistfight, which involves no fists at all, merely two Italian men “crab walking” around eachother shouting loudly while the crowd yells “oohhhhh!!!”
. . . When you witness what happens when an Italian bouncer kicks someone out of a club, not with an arm around the neck, but leading the offender out by pinching the shoulder of his shirt talking with him amiably.
. . . When you walk through a hilltown in Tuscany and get the “look” from natives, feeling like an infamous celebrity, which is comparable to the look you’d give Paris Hilton walking through your home town.
. . . When you’re the only one of your group of friends who can say they’ve lived in a castle for three months.
. . . When you have to stand shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of smelly Italians while on an IC train from Bologna to Firenze SMN on a friday night.
. . . When five Italians on a train, who don’t know you speak their language, start trash talking Americans for an hour and a half.
. . . When you realize that TrenItalia is the WORST train system in Europe.
. . . When Italians think YOU are a genuine Itai, and ask you for directions or money. Lots of them ask for money.
. . . When you realize Italians seem to lack common courtesy as they are entirely willing to cut off anyone in line they please.
. . . When “Permiso” gives anyone the permission to shove people to the ground(literally!) in order to get where they’re going.
. . . When you feel like you’re in a third world country compared to Germany, Austria, The Netherlands, Switzerland, and America.
. . . When you get hit up for Coke, Heroin, MDMA, Mushrooms, Hash, and pot in Rome.
. . . When gypsies steal your wallet and you have to send them to the hospital to show them who’s boss in order to get back what is rightfully yours.
. . . When the police are more concerned with hitting on your friends rather than fighting crime.
. . . When traffic laws mean nothing. Fear for your life!
. . . When you realize how terrible a beer Moretti actually is.
. . . When you realize that you have just as much right to use the powerful “permiso” for your own gain as the Itai’s do.
. . . When you come back to your car on a sleeper train and have to immediately close the door, heading back to the food car, because of the overpowering foot-stench of the Italians sharing your car with you.
. . . When you have to tell a forty-year-old Italian man that the two American girls he’s molesting are both your girlfriends so he will back off. Not to mention that you’ve never met these girls before and they buy you drinks to thank you for ridding them of the dude.
. . . When you realize you’re in the only European country so far behind the times that barely anyone speaks enough english to communicate effectively with Americans, British, Germans, and anyone else from the rest of the world.
. . . When the best time you had over your semester studying abroad was the two weeks you spent in Germany.
. . . When you realize the people in other European countries are so much friendlier than Italians under the age of fifty.
. . . When you walk through an Italian city wordlessly enjoying your time and a bunch of Italian teens start shouting the chorus to Green Day’s “American Idiot” (poorly) at you and your friends.
. . . When you realize how much American culture and music influence Italians in their own little world, and they refuse to accept this fact, stating how terrible America is. Advice: They are clearly biased, and closed minded. Politely accept their opinion and move on to the next group of people.
. . . When you realize that most social gatherings are just another excuse for Italians to get drunk, despite the rumor that ‘Italians don’t drink to excess”(B.S.) See also: Football(soccer) games.
More to come.
Just a few solid counterpoints to all the ‘love’ going on here.
Well, Nate, I think it’s safe to say that a study abroad experience in a city is quite different from living every day life in Italy–I imagine foreigners would say very similar things about “America” if they hang around with young adults on public transportation, i.e., I hope you’re not insinuating there are no drugs, smelly people, or rudeness in America–I’ve lived in one of America’s largest cities, and believe me, it’s all there. And we also have some *terrible* beers, although I won’t name names
[Reply]
For Italians, in particular, coming across this post now, I hope you understand why I choose to leave even offensive comments here: the comments section is for readers to contribute to the discussion. If you disagree, please feel free to disagree in the comments and continue the discussion.
But unless something is truly vulgar or obscene (as judged by me, as it’s my blog), I won’t delete it. I don’t like censorship.
[Reply]
…….. When you hail a cab to take you back to your hotel and the driver asked if you liked his city – when you say you are leaving in the morning and haven’t gotten to see much – He turns off the meter and gives you a tour of the city including his home where his wife runs out to the car with wine.
Now *that’s* a great Italy story
[Reply]
Hi all,
my name is Riccardo, I’m from Milan and currently I’m living in Berkeley, CA (I’m not payed by US govt, but by Italian one, so you cannot say “hey, you had to migrate for work”).
I just try to answer to some points in the most offensive comment I read, given by Nate Swift. My purpose is not to start an argue, but to suggest an approach to Italy beyond stereotypes.
“. . . When you realize that TrenItalia is the WORST train system in Europe.”
If you need to go from San Francisco to Los Angeles (382 miles) with Amtrak (US railway) it will take you about 12 hours. In Italy a similar distance is Milano – Roma (about 370 miles); furthermore between Milano and Roma there is Appennino (mountains) and so several tunnels. Well, with the fastest train it will take you 3 hours and a half. If the train is late you’ll be refunded (seriously, once it happened to me for problems on the line and I really got refunded). We all recognise that the Italian railway system is not the best in the world. French is better, German too, whilst in UK it is not so good (I’ve got English friends who complain about the fact that you never know which is your train, since Margaret Tatcher privatised the system and there are now many companies) and very expansive indeed. Recently I’ve been in Japan and there is incredible: the best in the world I’d say. Anyway Italian system exists. In the United States public transportation is inadequate and not so popular. Car or plane. Besides, check in time in US airports is very long: 2 hours before take off for domestic flights (I gave up using the train for going from SF to LA). In Europe, Italy comprised, it is always less than 1 hour for domestic flights.
“. . . When Italians think YOU are a genuine Itai, and ask you for directions or money. Lots of them ask for money.”
In the Bay Area there is an incredible number of homeless asking you for money and many young people. In Italy tipping is common only at the restaurant. In the US is for about everything. In Las Vegas a guy in the elevator expected the tip for pressing the button. In Japan tipping is forbidden everywhere. In this way you always know the final price. Is it $100? OK, it’s fine. Not $50, then you have to add taxes (vary county by county) and then tip and the tip for accepting the tip. I want to have dinner, not buy a carpet in a bazar.
In Italy you don’t discuss so often about money. It is not that elegant.
“. . . When you feel like you’re in a third world country compared to Germany, Austria, The Netherlands, Switzerland, and America.”
This is very rude. Very.
People from Germany, Austria, the Netherlands, Switzerland do not think that Italy is a 3rd World country. They often spend their holidays in Italy and they know Italy beyond stereotypes. Especially Germans. I work a lot with them and they are not spending their time in insulting comments about Italy. Sometimes they joke with us about stereotypes in EU countries. Not on us. In the US I often hear the litany/ballad “pizza-mafia-mandolino-mamma mia-and so on”. Sometimes is very frustrating. I’m a scientist, why should I be addressed in that way? It happens not just in a while. Is not so pleasant to hear “where you come from is a shit” when you meet a person for the first time. Normally I – we in Europe – do not start a conversation in that way.
In these days I’m attending a conference about energy consumption in buildings and cities. People from California said that they are leading the world in energy saving. Well, this is far from truth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_energy_consumption_per_capita
US is the only big nation not having ratified the Kyoto Protocol. I could discuss about this for hours since is my job. In Italy we have the same energy regulation that is adopted in Germany, which is the most restrictive in EU.
“. . . When the police are more concerned with hitting on your friends rather than fighting crime.”
You might want to have a look at the rates by country about people being killed by firearms on 100 000 inhabitants. You might want to have a look about regulation and requirements for purchasing firearms in Italy. It is definitely more restrictive than in US.
“. . . When traffic laws mean nothing. Fear for your life!”
I bike to got to work in California. I risk my life. Here they do not use the indicator when they change direction or when they turn. Besides, the indicators on American cars are red as the stops. On European cars they are orange and easier to be distinguished. We use the indicators.
Here turning right on red is allowed. It is really dangerous. In Italy is a severe violations and at each crossroad in Milano, for instance, there is a camera and you get a fine for that. In EU you can get a driving license when you are 18. 16 you are really too young.
“. . . When you realize how terrible a beer Moretti actually is.”
In the US some chemical compound is added to beer, so as to achieve a faster fermentation. As a result, you experience headache the day after for just one beer. In EU there are no chemical additives causing you headache. In general in the US food is not so safe. You might pay a lot for organic food and still have not excellent meat. In EU everything is organic and you pay somewhere in between organic and non organic in US. Nearby where I live in California salmonella was found in meat in a popular superstore. Is still in business. It has not been closed for a single day. In Italy NAS (Nucleo Anti Sofisticazioni, which is the division of Carabinieri controlling food safety and many other things) would have closed the groceries store immediately and there would have been a trial for that.
Coming back to beer. Moretti is not a good beer, you’re right. Italy indeed is not famous for beer, but for wine. Anyway, in Italy, if you want a good beer you can easily find a Guinness or Leffe or other very good Belgian beers.
“. . . When you realize you’re in the only European country so far behind the times that barely anyone speaks enough english to communicate effectively with Americans, British, Germans, and anyone else from the rest of the world.”
In Italy not everybody speaks English. In France and Spain the situation is worse (source: lived there for a while), since their policy is to preserve their language and they don’t promote that much the study of foreign languages.
In the US about 20% of population is bilingual, but this is due to the fact that most of them are sons and daughters of immigrants. People born in the US speaks just American English. Sometimes you have problems in understanding people speaking British English (source: friends from US who moved to UK and needed 6 months for tuning on English English).
“. . . When the best time you had over your semester studying abroad was the two weeks you spent in Germany.”
Germany is nice.
“. . . When you realize how much American culture and music influence Italians in their own little world, and they refuse to accept this fact, stating how terrible America is. Advice: They are clearly biased, and closed minded. Politely accept their opinion and move on to the next group of people.”
Las Vegas is a bad copy of EU (i.e. Venetian, Bellagio, Paris and other fake-EU hotels).
The contribution provided by Italy to World Cultural Heritage is huge, in terms of all arts and in science too. One of the most significant awards in the US for physicists is the Enrico Fermi Prize. Many positions of full professors in US Ivy League Universities and UC are held by Italians (who got their PhD in Italy) and many other countries. Often the professor is not American.
In the US everything regarding quality of life – food, music, cars, culture in general, etc. – is in some way related to Europe, to Italy and France in particular.
“. . . When you realize that most social gatherings are just another excuse for Italians to get drunk, despite the rumor that ‘Italians don’t drink to excess”(B.S.) See also: Football(soccer) games.”
Fraternities, sororities… baseball games…
In conclusion, USA is a great country, but please, cease with insulting stereotypes. Please, sworn off believing that you are the best of the best and the rest is shit. That is still George W. Bush attitude.
You are ahead in information technology, some fields in science, but with regard to climate change, energy, health, food safety and many other areas you still need to strive a lot. We could share our knowledge. If you only stopped to be so rude.
Sorry for the stream of consciousness James Joyce style, but I’m really fed up with being offended
Riccardo
Thank you very much for your thoughtful response, Riccardo; I agree with most, if not all, of what you’ve written. I hope you’ll come back to the blog and share more of your opinions
[Reply]
…when you search for half an hour for one pharmacy and along the way find fifteen gelatto shops. (Never a bad thing)
…when blatantly staring is perfectly acceptable and it is considered strange when you don’t stare.
…when you see more history in one block then you see in one American city.
…when your waiter feeds you your dessert.
…when the trucks are smaller then your minivan back home.
…when you leave and all you can think about is to return!
Thanks for these. I love Italy. I hope to see it again very soon.
[Reply]
when a package takes 8 days to arrive in Rome from New Zealand but then 2 months to be cleared by customs and arrive in Sardinia..
when your host family worries you will get sick because you don’t dry your hair immediately after having a shower..
Haha excellent additions
[Reply]
Oh, it is so beautiful .
[Reply]
You know you’re in Italy when …
when you feel the smell of real coffee, unique, unmistakable aroma in a small cup to drink standing at the bar and in a hurry … ahahahahahahah!
Giò
[Reply]