Bleeding Espresso

2 February 2010

Top 10 Reasons Nutella Is Better Than a Boyfriend

To get you all a little, ahem, in the mood for World Nutella Day 2010 (only *three* days away!), I’ve come up with the:

Top 10 Reasons Nutella Is Better Than a Boyfriend

10. He’s always interested in spooning.

9. He doesn’t care if you’re wearing make-up…heck he doesn’t even care if you’re clean.

8. When you decide you’re finished, you just put a lid on him and put him in the cupboard.

7. He doesn’t care how many Nutella jars you have open at the same time.

6. He’ll watch all your favorite shows, listen to your feelings, *and* provide chocolate.

5. He always lets you take the lead.

4. You don’t have to feel guilty about leaving Nutella at home to fend for himself.

3. He’s always, always, always sweet.

2. He’ll never ask you whether your last Nutella jar was bigger.

And the #1 reason Nutella is better than a boyfriend:

1. He satisfies your craving. Each. And. Every. Time.

I’m going to leave the “Top 10 Reasons Nutella is Better Than a Girlfriend” to the other half of the Nutella-loving population, so if anyone out there is so inclined, feel free to post it and let me know!

Also, everyone feel free to add your reasons why Nutella is better than a boyfriend/girlfriend here in the comments.

It’s almost here! February 5th is coming so fast!

26 beans of wisdom »

26 beans of wisdom to “Top 10 Reasons Nutella Is Better Than a Boyfriend”

Gil on 02 Feb 2010 at 8:25 am #

No comment!

Haha, that may be for the best, Gil
Sonia P on 02 Feb 2010 at 8:44 am #

hahahah… #2 is my favorite!

Glad you enjoyed Sonia!

Sonia P´s last blog ..Crocchette: crispy, cheesy and just plain YUM!
René Seindal on 02 Feb 2010 at 9:18 am #

Nutella is not better than a girlfriend, nothing is, but if you add the two together interesting and fun things might emerge

This is an excellent line of reasoning, René!
Katja | Driving Like a Maniac on 02 Feb 2010 at 10:09 am #

Nom nom nom. Nutella: nutty in a GOOD way.

Hahaha…excellent Katja!

Katja | Driving Like a Maniac´s last blog ..Oh, the shame!
Lisa at Wanderlust Women on 02 Feb 2010 at 12:47 pm #

This has to be the best list of reasons to eat Nutella ever!!!!!!!!!!!

As if we needed them, right?

Lisa at Wanderlust Women´s last blog ..Wanderlust women will find a city of contrasts in Naples, Italy
george on 02 Feb 2010 at 2:35 pm #

Inversely, I have 10 reasons why Nutella is better than a girlfriend or ex-wife:
10. She doesn t need a knife to lick it
9. She doesn t care if you spread it around
8. When you are finished, put HER in the cupboard
7. She doesn t care if you how many Nutella jars you hoard
6. She’ll watch all your sports shows, listen to your complaints,
and provide ultimate chocalaty flavored love

1. She’ll crave your chocolate nuts

Hahahahahaha…excellent work, George! Bravo!
nyc/caribbean ragazza on 02 Feb 2010 at 2:56 pm #

I don’t have a boyfriend but I do have Nutella in my life. I guess I’m lucky. (?) ha

Haha, yes of course! At least on World Nutella Day

nyc/caribbean ragazza´s last blog ..Angèlique Kidjo at Parco della Musica, with a special guest appearance from Carmen Consoli
anna l'americana on 02 Feb 2010 at 3:02 pm #

Nutella doesn’t lie.
Nutella doesn’t cheat.
Nutella won’t leave you for another eater………

Hahahahahaha….

anna l’americana´s last blog ..In Memoriam….
ninotchka on 02 Feb 2010 at 3:31 pm #

love it!

Thanks for coming by Ninotchka!
The Food Hunter on 02 Feb 2010 at 7:22 pm #

This is awesome…thanks for sharing!

Glad you enjoyed…now I must see about cooking that GOAT!

The Food Hunter´s last blog ..Silly Conversations That Come Up When You Decide to Cook a Goat….
Kristine on 03 Feb 2010 at 12:18 am #

And to think, instead of a boyfriend I got a dog, and all along all I needed was Nutella. lol

Oh I don’t know if Nutella is better than a dog…that’s a tough call!

Kristine´s last blog ..February Designs
food lover kathy on 03 Feb 2010 at 3:14 am #

Love this post! (and looking forward to your next Nutella post)

Two more reasons Nutella is better than a boyfriend:

1. He never complains about how many pairs of shoes you own and whether or not you wear them.

2. He comforts you when you’re hormonal and never ever complains about it.

Hahaha, excellent Kathy!!!
Dory on 03 Feb 2010 at 3:31 am #

LOL Great list! Love love love it!

Thanks Dory!

Dory´s last blog ..44 Lessons I’ve learned
O. the Expat Mom on 03 Feb 2010 at 5:37 am #

So there is nothing wrong with my love for Nutella! Thanks, thanks, many thanks Michelle!

My pleasure, O! Great to “see” you again, btw

O. the Expat Mom´s last blog ..How to survive when husband is gone over the weekend
Esme on 03 Feb 2010 at 7:16 am #

This was funny thanks-I will be joining you in spirit for Nutella Day-sorry I have been in trial since Jan 4 and still going. Are you growing your hair longer? I like it.

I never seem to make a conscious decision to let my hair grow…just too lazy to make an appointment to get it cut Hope the trial is going well!

Esme´s last blog ..February is the time for Love
Michael Cavinta on 03 Feb 2010 at 9:40 am #

Hahaha. Very funny post! My wife just loves your posts. Thanks for sharing with us your thoughts because we always find them very interesting and informative. Well, another this that is great with nutella is that you can have espresso coffee with it anytime. Have a nice day!

Thanks Michael…and you’re welcome for the publicity

Michael Cavinta´s last blog ..Why cold brew coffee is getting popular
Sarah in Italy on 03 Feb 2010 at 10:37 pm #

Sub ready made Bird’s custard and I’m with you for the whole damn list.

Add Ambrosia rice pudding in a tin and I can write a wad of new additons.

Oh Sarah, as Churchill once said (paraphrasing perhaps): Two countries separated by a common language…I trust both of those dishes are tasty, but I’ve never heard of them! Feel free to wax poetic about them, offer recipes, etc.

Sarah in Italy´s last blog ..Bob da Builda M
Jasmine on 03 Feb 2010 at 11:24 pm #

Ciao Michelle, grazie del commento! Abbiamo in programma 3 post sulla nutella, appena pubblico il terzo (il secondo l’ho appena messo online) mando il tutto per partecipare ufficialmente al World Nutella Day

Ottimissimooooo! E che bel nome ce l’hai
Em from Ribollita Reboiled on 04 Feb 2010 at 6:40 pm #

oh my geeez! I am literally laughing out loud! Nutella doesn’t point out when a big chunk in his middle has been taken out with a spoon. DH loves to remind me of that one!

Ouch! Glad you enjoyed the list, Em!

Em from Ribollita Reboiled´s last blog ..Kiss My Polenta (Grits)
somepinkflowers on 05 Feb 2010 at 6:03 am #

hahahahahahahahahahahahah….
hahaha

nutella will NEVER EVER leave the toilet seat UP.

No, that it will definitely NOT do. Hahahaha
Greenhoof » Blog Archive » Happy Nutella Day. Now What Is It? on 05 Feb 2010 at 5:34 pm #

[...] seem to love the stuff all over the world now; one writer even has 10 Reasons Nutella Is Better Than a Boyfriend They are even celebrating World Nutella Day [...]
El día mundial de Nutella: 5 de Febrero | el blog de Rab Ross | la mia dolce vita on 05 Feb 2010 at 6:43 pm #

[...] Ahora es amada en todo el mundo, un escritor, incluso cuenta con 10 Razones por las que Nutella es mejor que un novio. [...]
Happy Nutella Day. Now What Is It? | Latros.Com on 05 Feb 2010 at 10:24 pm #

[...] seem to love the stuff all over the world now; one writer even has 10 Reasons Nutella Is Better Than a Boyfriend They are even celebrating World Nutella Day [...]
connie on 07 Feb 2010 at 5:42 pm #

a suicide of deliciousness….mwah nutella! everybody goes crazy yummy about world nutella day..what a chocolaty day to celebrate! %&*)=# rapsadoodle…namit gid…

Love it Connie!
fred on 19 Feb 2010 at 12:37 am #

nutella is a liar though.
hazelnuts is 3rd ingredient after sugar and oil.
it is essentially frosting. sold as peanut butter but its not, its just frosting.

But where does Nutella lie about any of that, Fred? The ingredients are listed on the side of the jar, and it’s sold as a chocolate (sugar implied, no?) hazelnut spread–in that order. I don’t think anyone is shocked to learn that something with a chocolate base has a lot of sugar…or at least they shouldn’t be.
Happy Nutella Day. Now What Is It? | Green Agenda on 19 Feb 2010 at 2:55 am #

[...] seem to love the stuff all over the world now; one writer even has 10 Reasons Nutella Is Better Than a Boyfriend They are even celebrating World Nutella Day [...]