feeling needy

I’ve seen this idea floating around the blogosphere for a while, but now that my good friend goodthomas has done it, I want to play too.

Here is some old-fashioned, Google-driven fun that entails typing your name and the word “needs” in quotes into the search engine feature. So, for example, I typed in “michelle needs,” being that “sognatrice needs” wasn’t going to get me very far.

Here are my 10 favorite results followed by my comments in brackets:

(1) michelle needs a family that will be patient, consistent, kind, loving [yes, yes I do; thank you for taking my needs into consideration]

(2) michelle needs to exercise her right to shut the f**k up [ouch, *somebody* needs anger management]

(3) michelle needs to move on with someone else since Tony’s no longer around [so long sucker!]

(4) michelle needs to just shut up [all right already!]

(5) michelle needs money so she can travel to Canada and the US to meet bloggers [well I don’t know if I would’ve phrased it that way, but sure, I’ll accept donations for an international blog tour, and I’d even make time for my patient, consistent, kind, loving family]

(6) michelle needs to come out and be our studio manager [not such a good idea since I don’t even know what that is]

(7) michelle needs help (no, literally) [as opposed to the figurative help I’m always whining about]

(8) michelle needs to clear and vacuum her cluttered bedroom [get out of my house freak!]

(9) michelle needs your votes now! [yeah! free espresso for all!]

(10) michelle needs to stop the madness and eat a hamburger or something [if you insist]

If you decide to do this, come back here and put up your link in the comments; and for anyone who doesn’t have a blog, feel free to paste the results right in a comment.

Buon weekend a tutti!



48 Beans of Wisdom to “feeling needy”
  1. Giulia

    OMG, too funny! I may do this myself. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Judith in Umbria

    It took some careful reading to figure out what this was about. I couldn’t figure out who was saying this about you!

    It wouldn’t take nearly as much dough to see the various Italy bloggers!

  3. jennifer

    The first hit I got was “Jennifer need a smack daddy!”

  4. Enza

    ok here goes
    1. Enza needs to stay out of their lives.
    2. Enza needs counseled on her manners ( geez!)
    3. Enza needs a great deal of help.
    (ok are we seeing a pattern here?)
    4. Enza needs to be examined in relation to virus circulation (first I need a life and now I am a virus?)
    5. Enza needs to recognise the winds of change. ( i am beginning to think i am a wretched person!)
    6. Enza needs to be shipped away to a facility somewhere
    Ok i am stopping at number 6 cause i am totally depressed now! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Anonymous

    S needs to get dressed.
    S needs to take a new position.
    S needs reassurance from Victor about their relationship.
    S needs a larger time slot.
    S needs all the help she can get now.

    Ha Ha Sounds like there is some drama going on in my Google life.

  6. Cherrye

    Man – Italian internet is fa schifo, isn’t it? This is the third time I have tried to leaave this comment…here’s hoping it takes.

    I said…

    Hilarious. LOL.

    Enza! Yours is funny, too. Sorry.

    I tried it, but when I googled “Cherrye needs” nothing good came up. Actually, three from the first page were from my own blog, and one was from yours. Maybe I will try my middle name!

  7. Anonymous

    h ah ha ha ha hilarious!

    here are my results:
    -Vanessa needs to watch this show so she can see all the boys
    – Vanessa Needs to Know About Italy, most specifically reasonable, clean hotels in Venice, Florence and Rome Italy
    – VANESSA NEEDS 2 GET BACK ON DA SHOW CAUSE SHE WAS DA LIFE OF DA PARTY (i think she needs to learn to spell)
    – Vanessa needs to grow up and try to talk (hmmm all grown up and talking since 10 months old)
    – Vanessa needs your help to win Miss Student 2006! (only 10 years too late)
    – Vanessa Needs to Lay Off the Champagne (not true at all, we have lots of bottles that need drinking!)
    – VANESSA gives special attention to your needs (wondering which ones those are?)

    Those are the first 6 of 1.2mil results for me. If i looked a bit harder maybe i would find ‘vanessa needs to stop mucking around on the internet and do some work!’ whcih is much more appropriate….

    PS Enza maybe some of your results are related to the fact that ENZA is the acronym for the NZ apple and pear marketing board. (ie in reference to diesase etc)

  8. Ally Bean

    I’ve not seen this before and I love it. Such goofy fun.

    So, paraphrasing, if I read this correctly, you need to have a suportive family so that you can be a quiet studio manager who vaccums her bedroom and eats hamburgers. Very insightful.

  9. eLรญ

    Took me a while to come up with a decent list but it’s good fun!

  10. Kristen

    Here are mine:
    1) Kristen needs some fashion advice and needs to rethink her top.
    2) Kristen needs to lay her egg. (Huh?)
    3) Kristen needs to get rid of dial up and needs a new internet connection (This was actually a petition from Kristen’s friends to Kristen’s mom!)
    4)Kristen needs to pay her bills through online bill pay (kind of hard to do with that dial up connection!)
    5)Kristen needs more bastardly love (another huh?)
    6)Kristen needs an angle for her story.

    This was a new one for me. A lot of fun!

  11. Paolo

    OK, so this was the first hit I got:


    Charming. What’s hit 2?


    I don’t know if I like this game…

    Paolo needs a cigarette, but Nikki grabs it out of his mouth. “Ashes are evidence, Paolo. We poisoned him. Let’s not poison ourselves.”

    I am not sure if I’m more offended by the caps-lock potty-mouth or the bad community-theatre dialogue.

    Paolo needs to get his hair cut and get a better dye job. He must have been using Jon Hensley’s high-lighting kit

    So, what I am getting from this exercise is that Paolo is an overweight murderer with bad hair and a fondness for marital aids.

    What can’t you learn on the Internets?

  12. Giulia

    I did it and posted it on the blog. ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. Scott

    This was fun, here are mine:


  14. Enza

    These are hilarious!!! Paolo i thought i was pathetic but yours win and laying those eggs was very funnyKristen! Thanks Sognatrice for my morning laugh!!!

  15. nyc/caribbean ragazza

    Paolo that is priceless!! The first hit for me was:

    Arlene needs some straightening out, and I’m just the man to do it!

    haha. I think it’s the line from a book, or Alec Baldwin is at it again.

  16. Texas Espresso

    I did it too! It’s posted on my blog. hehe It was fun! though evidently with a name like stacy, I am a slut.lol

  17. Sara

    I guess it was inevitable. Running this search led me (on the second result!) to another blogger named Sara who had already run this search. Her answers and comments are perfect, so I’m sending you there:

    Sara’s Spot: What Do You Need?

    She also has pictures of adorable baby animals in her sidebar right now. You can’t lose.

  18. Sara

    (Oh, okay, the pix are randomized on that other Sara’s site. But maybe you’ll be lucky and get a kitty and a bunny like I did.)

  19. alicia

    Haha, I did this once before with another blog, but can’t remember the results. Anyway, here are a few of mine:

    “Alicia needs to let Jeremy take full responsibility for his tasks” (scary, since I have a ‘situation’ with a Jeremy right now)

    “Alicia needs a big fat dose of reality” (Amen to that)

    “Alicia needs to know if there are scissors, crayons, paper, and pencils available at home.” (yep, last time I checked I had them all)

  20. Erin

    That’s great! I did that once when it came around as a forward. It was funny. I liked the messy bedroom one you had…sounds like my bedroom…

  21. sognatrice

    Oh blog friends, I’m so happy that so many of you joined in the fun!

    Here are links to other’s:

    Giulia needs…

    eLi needs…

    stacy (texas espresso) needs…

    Judith, you make an excellent point about the funds to see Italy bloggers. Actually if I could convince everyone to meet in Rome or something, it’d be really easy to raise the funds ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Jennifer, knowing what you need has got to be the first step!

    Enza, well, if you need someone to talk to….

    Anon (S), I just hope you’re dressed by now.

    Cherrye, yeah, I thought of you when I posted this (we were exchanging emails as I was writing it), and I figured you’d be in the “Sognatrice” boat. Guess Cicina won’t cut it either ๐Ÿ˜‰


    Ally, you know when you put it that way, it suddenly all makes sense!

    Kristen, um, I hope that egg came out OK?

    Paolo, OK, yours has to be the funniest list I’ve seen yet. I just hope you’ll find the help you need.

    Arlene, aren’t your legs just wobbling from that sweet talk?

    Sara, thanks for the link; I think there might’ve been another Michelle blogger too, but I just ignored her ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Alicia, those are really, really random. And the Jeremy thing is just creepy. Resolve it!

    Erin, I’ll have to look for yours on your blog; I just found this too amusing to go without doing it any longer.

    Come on…anyone else want to play???

  22. sognatrice

    I can’t believe I incorrectly used the apostrophe on “other’s” up there. How embarrassing.

  23. The Moon Topples

    I did this last night over on mine if you’d like to come see. I was inspired by GT as well…

  24. sognatrice

    And the influence of goodthomas continues…

    Everyone, go check out what Moon Topples needs.

  25. Wanderlust Scarlett

    YAY! More fun to be done! Ok… did the list, here you go:


    The results were mixed… some good, some sweet, some spice and some serious SOAPBOX too… ha ha ha.

    Did this with my real name and came up with QUITE an unusual list.

    Thanks for the giggles and clever game!


    PS – ok… so now you realize I have to put in the names of friends and relatives to see what everyone else needs too… ha ha ha… and that psycho woman I work with, but I know what she needs… ;o)

  26. goodthomas

    Loved this. Thanks for taking it and running with it. Funny how so many of us need a “good and loving family” which, I guess, is probably true. These really make you think — about the people writing these things online about Michelle. I can’t believe that someone needs to write that about Michelle online. Very odd, very funny.

    But I am confused — does P know about Tony?

    Have a good weekend, Sognatrice.

  27. Louise

    That is SOOOO good!
    Thanks for the chuckle!

  28. Catherine

    Ok, I think this is really funny: I tried to do this, but the very first thing Google brought up was another Catherine blogger who had already done it!

    So…I guess that’s not going to work well. Doesn’t that just demonstrate the power of the internet??

  29. lacey kaye

    Ok, I think “I need” to do this…

  30. KC

    This is so much fun! I did it too and posted it on my blog.

  31. Gil

    I can’t believe I incorrectly used the apostrophe on “other’s” up there.

    Is that error still a Cardinal Sin for a lawyer?

  32. IRENE

    Sounds like Tarot!
    Enjoy the weekend.

  33. sognatrice

    Here are the full links to what Scarlett needs and what Heather needs and also to what Karen (KC) needs.

    Thanks for playing!

    goodthomas, well, Tony’s history, you know, so there’s really no reason for P to know anything ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Louise, glad you enjoyed it!

    Catherine, oh you never know what that other Catherine left out….

    Lacey Kaye, well if you already know what you need, maybe it won’t be so fun ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Gil, eh, since lawyers do *so* much worse, I’m guessing apostrophe placement is low on the list, lucky for me ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Irene, it does! A great weekend to you as well ๐Ÿ™‚

  34. sognatrice

    Here is what Lacey Kaye needs!

  35. Ninotchka

    I’ve seen this one and it’s a total disappointment for my name. The only thing I can find is “Nino needs to stop smoking.”



  36. Ninotchka

    Oh wait…I just found a bunch when I put it in quotes. Cool…maybe I’ll do this on my blog too!

    Perhaps the top search result should be: NINO NEEDS A CLUE. LOL LOL LOL

  37. sognatrice

    Nino, you crack me up. But, look, now you don’t need a clue anymore, so that’s one off the list!

  38. Wenda

    Great revelation – according to my search I don’t need anything, but I do have a few wants and I’ll let you know about them later when I get them listed.

  39. John

    Good fun!

    Navel-gazing of the lintiest kind!


  40. sognatrice

    Wenda, can’t wait to see what you want!

    John, get climbing that mountain! Thanks for playing ๐Ÿ™‚

  41. Deirdrรฉ Straughan
  42. sognatrice

    Deirdrรฉ, with your apparent soap opera name, thanks for joining in! Hope you remember that murder soon, though–seems kind of important.

  43. Yes is a World
  44. stefanie

    I’ve played this game before, but never posted it. The result that comes up about nine times with my name is “Stefanie needs a strong man, stronger than she.” Probably true enough, I suppose…

    I also need to shut the f*#k up for once, according to that game. (Probably also a fair comment at times, I’ll admit.) ๐Ÿ˜‰

  45. Giovanna Pasquarelli

    OMG…Just what I need to start my night. I’m going to do this and link to you. Let’s see what G needs.

  46. sognatrice

    Yes, Giovanna, thanks for playing!

    Stefanie, I see we have the need to shut up in common. Go figure.

  47. 05.02.2009

    That actulay sounds like fun. Never know what will pop up. I know people like searching about new people they meet and this sounds like more fun to me. If you change some terms you could find almost anything about your first name.

    Internet games are almost always fun, especially when you’re supposed to be working ๐Ÿ˜‰

Michelle KaminskyMichelle Kaminsky is an American attorney-turned-freelance writer who lived in her family's ancestral village in Calabria, Italy for 15 years. This blog is now archived. 

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Homemade apple butter
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