Note to Paris Hilton: That’s Not Hot

For those of you who don’t know, today is a holiday in Italy. Every December 8, the country has the day off for the Immaculate Conception. And yes, the separation of church and state is the law here. Why do you ask?

So, since it’s a yearly free day, I’ve chosen December 8 as the day my house turns into Christmas Village. And that’s what I did all morning. Harry Connick Jr. serenaded me while I put up our mini-tree (no room for much else) and other assorted cheer.

When I got tired of Frosty melting away (am I the only one who finds that song kinda sad?), I put on the television.

Um, when did Paris Hilton become important enough to do telefonino (cell phone) commercials in Italy? Who has allowed this? I doubt most Italians have the faintest clue as to who she is, even if she is pictured sometimes in the gossip rags. But still…is she *really* going to make them switch phone service?

The funniest part of the ads is one of three things. I can’t decide. In the running are:

(1) Her trying to speak Italian. Horrendous doesn’t begin to describe it. Let’s just say that I had to translate Paris’s Italian into actual Italian for P;

(2) Her voice is dubbed over in some of the ads; or

(3) The voice over girl was apparently given instructions to speak Italian only slightly less horrendously than Paris and (most importantly) to keep the valley girl American accent.

That Paris appears in these ads with one of Italy’s most beloved actors, Claudio Amendola, is more disturbing than funny, so that didn’t make the list. But at least she’s not playing opposite La Loren (who does spots for a different company). Imagine the horror!

So what I’m really wondering is this: is there a way we can petition to get this, um, girl off of Italian airwaves–a way to tell “Tre” that these ads are so *not hot* here?

Has Italy plain run out of people famous for no reason other than their wealth? Aren’t there some Agnelli or DeLaurentis kids running around blowing their inheritances? Or how about members of the ex-royal family now that they’re allowed back in?

Sorry for the rant, but hearing Queen Daft butcher one of the most beautiful languages in the world has effectively drained my Christmas cheer.

Maybe I should go back the dying snowman for a pick-me-up.

20 Beans of Wisdom to “Note to Paris Hilton: That’s Not Hot”
  1. katerinafiore

    Paris is an idiot, I can’t bellieve she is on Italian tv. BLAH!!!!!!!! I think what you said about her trying to speak italian was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!

    About Frosty, I get sad too when he melts away, it is not just u, my friend.


  2. The (Mis)Adventures of a Single City Chick

    Um, we don’t want her back here in the states! Especially if she and Brit-Brit continue to parade about comando style. If that’s not a cry for help, I don’t know what is! Gross! πŸ˜‰


  3. Delina

    It’s such a cringe-worthy ad. I’m sure they paid her the debt of a third world country too.

  4. Annika

    Hey, give her a slack. At least she’s working, which is a nice break from all those party pics we have already seen way too many of. Is she wearing clothes? If so, you can’t really ask for more.

  5. sognatrice

    Katerina, glad I’m not alone on feeling sad for Frosty. I suppose it’s an early lesson for kids to carpe diem?

    Christina, did you see that Brit has acknowledged her inappropriate behavior and “thanked Gaaawd” (my spelling) for Victoria’s Secret? Let’s hope this covers it.

    Delina, excellent disturbing point. Because what she needs is more money. For panties. See above comment.

    Annika, maybe you’re right. At least she didn’t flash the cookie. See above two comments πŸ™‚

  6. jmisgro

    Here’s your Christmas Village!!
    I have to go take some pics to send to my SIL.

  7. avery

    I laughed my head off when I saw those Paris Hilton ads. Her Italian is horrible (although I’m not one to be talking)- why they would choose her as a spokesperson is beyond me. And you know she was probably paid loads of money for saying “that looks hot”. At least Nicole Kidaman’s commercials had some creativity involved and I actually like the George Clooney Martini ads.

  8. sognatrice

    jmisgro, how did you *know* that’s the Christmas Village I was thinking of when I wrote this post?!

    Avery, I completely agree about the Nicole Kidman and George Clooney ads. Actually Nicole doesn’t do so bad with the Italian, and George has better sense than to try too much. Plus, you know, IMHO, those two actually have some talent. Yeah, I said it πŸ˜‰

  9. Anonymous

    Very appropriate rant on the pathetic socialite skeezer! Like she’s going to be around in 10-20! I think not. Personally, I believe Italian TV should present its viewership and citizenry with a much more respected, not to mention, better educated, extremely adorable and worldly spokesperson in it’s national consumer advertising campaigns…a fresh face that lights up a room…(as opposed to one seen in an unlit hotel room, through a night vision camera lens…doing the nymphette nasty with a former friend’s husband…only to be seen by millions, to confirm just how “filthy rich” she is. Instead of Paris Hilton…how about the beautiful Badolato Pine Burr? And while only one other person on the planet may (hopefully) “get” my suggestion…I trust she will agree wholeheartedly. πŸ™‚

  10. KB

    Now I know just what December 8th is. I guess I missed that one in Austria. Apparently it’s also a holiday in Spain, Chile, Slovakia, etc. etc. because a ton of the language vendors I work with were off for the day. Actually, they are pretty much off for all of December. Lucky!

  11. Anonymous

    FYI: the Badolato Pine Burr endorsement was…and still is the opinion of JT. Sorry, i forgot that I am still quite Anonymous!


  12. JT

    I have an identity! It’s time for a beer!

  13. sognatrice

    KB, sorry you didn’t get to appreciate the 8th in Austria. What is the EU for if not for synchronization of holidays?

    And JT, salute! Good to have you in the hizzy, all unanonymous and stuff.

    P.S. I knew it was you before you fessed up. I haven’t heard the term “Pine Burr” since my mom recounted her Clam Night adventure. And no, there were no letters missing from the sign signifying anything….

  14. Cristina

    I almost cried when I saw sleeze hilton with Amendola. How could she get to meet him first!!!!!!!! Oh my heart is broken.

    Dec. 8th is the traditional decorate your house day in Italy. All of our neighbors were out in force yesterday setting everything up.

    And don’t forget, Jan. 6th is the day to take everything down. It is nice sometimes when there is a schedule for the little things. Makes me look forward to Dec. 8th every year instead of just saying, okay, today let’s decorate.

  15. sognatrice

    Cristina, I didn’t know that it was an actual tradition; guess I’m more Italian than I think being that I can just sense these things πŸ˜‰

    Actually it may not be so typical down here because most people I know go “in giro” all day–the morning market, home for lunch, and then visiting and taking part in the processions in the afternoon and evening. In fact, most houses I’ve been in around Christmas time haven’t done anything special at all–the only houses I can think of with trees are people with children (well, and me and my mini-version).

    The Epiphany was always the day in America when my family took stuff down, though, so I won’t forget that one. I like the schedule too!

    As for Amendola, I still can’t believe he agreed to the spot. Ugh. I love when he’s on “C’Γ¨ posta per te,” even if Maria freaks me out a bit/a lot.

  16. Cherrye

    Oh noooooooo. She has a music video, too! πŸ™

  17. BedArrest

    Now, now, JT/anonymous…as someone who formally changed the letters on the Pine Burr board daily, I can assure you I was never asked to leave any letters off…it’s just urban legend. πŸ˜‰

  18. Cynthia Rae

    Well you beat me to the punch. I was going to write about Paris Hiltion’s AWFUL accent. I would rather listen to fingernails on a chalkboard!

    Meglio cambiare, no?

    Oh, I don’t think so. Not if Paris is the spokes person for the company!

  19. sognatrice

    Cyn, please don’t let my post stop you!

  20. 11.02.2009

    Hi Michelle!

    You don’t know me, but I stumbled across your blog by accident and just wanted to say that so far, I’m really enjoying it! πŸ™‚ This post was really funny. I’m glad I haven’t seen Paris Hilton on Italian TV because I would’ve died from shame.

    Keep up the great blogging!

    Catherine from NJ

    Thanks for coming by, Catherine!
    .-= Catherine´s last blog ..Happy Halloween! =-.

Michelle FabioMichelle Fabio is an American attorney-turned-freelance writer living in her family's ancestral village in Calabria, Italy and savoring simplicity one sip at a time. 

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