40 Before 40
I wrote out a “40 before 40” list (that’s shorthand for “40 things to do before I turn 40”) around the time of my 30th birthday in 2006, but I didn’t have a blog yet.
So since I believe in telling the universe what I want (or at least telling the blogosphere), without further ado:
40 before 40
1. Get married. I’m aiming to do this with P, and hopefully before the age of 33. The actual planning and family logistics are putting this on hold for now.
2. Start a family. Again, with P, and for the first new member to be in my arms by the age of 35.
3. Make a family recipe book. I’m thinking recipes from my mom, my grandmother, P’s mom, other relatives, and us. And any other ones I like, since, you know, I’m the author and all.
4. Establish traditions for holidays. Thanksgiving and Fourth of July are the biggies for me to incorporate because they aren’t normally celebrated here. All the others are important too, but I want to be sure my children get the American holiday feel as much as possible.
5. Knit/crochet/cross-stitch gifts. First I have to learn how to knit and crochet, and then we can work on the gifts. I’m set on the cross-stitching, though…now to find the time!
6. Read The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990-2000. Standing in the way is accessibility and cost since I have access to precisely no public libraries, but we’ll do our best. Online options will help this quest.
7. Read Time’s All-Time 100 Novels. Ditto for the commentary on #6.
8. Read classic and modern Italian literature in Italian. Boccaccio and Dante up to Eco and Calvino. I want to be able to read Italian as quickly as I read English. It could happen. [I’ve begun!]
9. Learn another language. I’m thinking French. German doesn’t count because I’ve already taken a year of it in college. If it so inspires me to continue, well, I won’t count that as new anyway. So probably French, possibly Lithuanian, Greek if I’m feeling extra frisky.
10. Start a blog. This one must happen within the next year or two. [It did! You’re looking at it!]
11. Get novel published. Must finish one first.
12. Organize photos into albums/scrapbooks. First I have to get all that stuff here. That alone will probably take the better part of the next 10 years.
13. Get everything out of storage, selling what needs to go, and getting everything I want in Italy here. See commentary to #12. I’m going to have a make a trip to the U.S. to just take care of that stuff, but it needs to be done.
14. Go to Hawaii. Does this need an explanation?
15. Go to Australia. P’s got relatives there, so that would cut costs, right?
16. Find family villages in Lithuania and Germany and visit. This will take a major genealogical search, and it’d be nice if I received a little blessing from the Family Tree Fairies. Of course then perhaps I should reconsider my commentary on #9.
17. Pick up the flute again. And then I could join a Calabrese band!
18. Keep a well-tended garden. P’s got a head start here, but I’d like to have flowers in addition to vegetables, even if I only have them on my balcony. P, practical Calabrian that he is, doesn’t really get my desire to grow and tend to flowers.
19. Make sure I can make all the dishes P makes. We split the cooking duties, so there are certain things he always makes, but I want to know the secrets too. And then I’ll put ’em in the family recipe book (see #3).
20. Learn and practice photography. An in-person course would probably be difficult to come by here, but thank goodness for the Internet–and I have a lot of good inspiration for pictures.
21. Send out real birthday cards and letters. No more e-cards for the important people, and I really need to write out and send more snail mail.
22. Study more world history. Being American, I feel greatly undernourished on the meal of the rest of the world’s history. I need to study up, especially on Europe.
23. Learn Italian and/or American sign language. Going to have to do this one within the next couple years because I want to teach any future baby.
24. Be in the house we’ll be in for the long haul. I want to be settled in the house our children will grow up in.
25. Have that house completely as I want it (at that moment). I will probably look to change things up every couple years since I get bored easily, but I just want everything major in place and working, even if styles may change.
26. Get to and maintain my ideal weight. I’m pretty much there, but the main part of this is to stay there. Super-skinny isn’t the goal by any means, but I do hope to be at the right weight according to the BMI and an appropriate waist-to-hip ratio (*healthy*).
27. Only have clothes and shoes that we actually wear. Anything that’s so grossly out of style that we’d never wear it cannot take up room in our limited storage space.
28. Still be hugging and kissing P every day. I don’t want this to change.
29. Still be dancing in the kitchen on a regular basis. Not saying we do this every day, but it’s often enough that I don’t want it to stop.
30. Singing more (and with the (hopeful) kid(s)). I love to sing, and I want to validate that. I do have to find more music to sing along to, which I suppose is like #30(a).
31. Get caught up on classic movies. I really should have seen movies like Casablanca, The Philadelphia Story, Rebel Without a Cause, etc., by now. Lucky for me, SKY has a great classics movie channel. I’m working on it.
32. Take some sort of course on something in some way. Subject could be photography (see #20), language (#9), world history (#22), or something I haven’t even considered yet. But I want to learn more about something in an organized way with a teacher who knows the material well. I miss school. There I said it.
33. Have savings. Doesn’t have to be in a bank and it doesn’t have to be a lot, but extra cash in case of emergency would be a really nice thing. [I’m on my way!]
34. Go to a Broadway show. Yes, I’ve already seen several (The Phantom of the Opera is my favorite), but the fact that I live in Italy now doesn’t make it as accessible as it once was. If we have children, and they are of a certain age by the time I’m 40, it’d be nice for them to go too.
35. Paint/draw more, with more actual knowledge of what I’m doing. I’d like to learn how to do watercolors, in particular.
36. See the Grand Canyon. I’ve never been, and P would love this too.
37. Visit Yosemite National Park. Ditto commentary to #36.
38. Have a real vacation where I don’t worry about anything. Can’t remember the last time I just lounged on a beach not worrying about a freaking thing. I hope that can happen again, although the beach isn’t necessary–a mountain cabin would work fine too.
39. Vegas. See commentary to #36.
40. Study all major religions (and even some minor ones if there’s time). I know a lot about Catholicism but not everything. And I know a little about a lot of other religions. But I’d like to know more.
After I typed this out, I realized there are actually so many more things for me to do before 40. Guess I’ll just have to live longer then.
What’s on your “(X) before (X)” list?
45 Beans of Wisdom to “40 Before 40”
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[...] And although I’ve mentioned wanting to go to Vegas, if you win, I really won’t expect an inv... bleedingespresso.com/2008/02/carrabbas-italian-grills-profess-your-love-contest-win-a-trip-to-vegas.html
Michelle Kaminsky is an American attorney-turned-freelance writer who lived in her family's ancestral village in Calabria, Italy for 15 years. This blog is now archived.
Calabria Guidebook
Recipes
I like n°17…I picked up my dusty trombone after over 15 years of neglect and am now having a blast in a provence town band.
I am going to have to work on my list, alas, with ten digits more than yours 🙂
poppy fields’s last blog post..saturday
Meredith, you and your trombone are definitely an inspiration 🙂 Looking forward to your list!
I loved reading your list. I think I am going to have to work on one of my own. Unfortunately as I am already 40, it will have to be a 50 before 50 list.
Gill’s last blog post..Strange days indeed
Nothing unfortunate about it…the alternative is much worse 😉 Good to see you Gill!
Honey, that’s a lot to do in eight years. Because some of those things are gonna take up quite a bit of time. You’d better get your skates on. Sadly my list will have to be ‘Things to do before I’m 50’. (Cringe! I can hardly bear to write that). X
amanda’s last blog post..Carnevale
Gah! Now I have to add skates to the list 😉 Hope you’ll share your list!
Such a wonderful and ambitious list. One of the things on mine… Go to Italy 🙂
Great blog, by the way.
Jeanine’s last blog post..Providence
Hi Jeanine! Always better to be overambitious rather than underambitious, I say 😉 And you should definitely come on over!
What a list! I empathize with you on a couple of items, like taking a class or traveling to Hawaii. Already two items on my list of 50!
Beatriz’s last blog post..Fridge Space
I hope you’ll share your full list Beatriz…give me some more ideas!
ok i haven’t commented in a while but i still enjoy reading your blog except this one 🙂 I thought wow what a great idea to do a 40 before 40 list and I sat down to write mine but then it hit me. I am already 40, almost 41, so i guess i will have to do a 50 before 50 list…YIKES!!
Hey it just gives you ten more things you can add to the list…exciting right?! 😉
What a great list! And inspiring, too. I may have to do one of my own…
anno’s last blog post..Ellen Gilchrist: The Writing Life
Can’t wait to read it Anno!
These are beautiful goals, very inspiring. I’m almost afraid to do mine (I had a list of goals for 30 and when 30 passed, well…). But what could be wrong in being hopeful?
I hope you reach all of yours!
nova’s last blog post..Online vs. Print
Hi Nova, sometimes I find I do better with accomplishing things if I have them written down and can refer to them…thus my rampant list-making 😉
wow, great list! Don’t you love learning new things? Well, obviously you do, because a lot on that list is learning new things. I taught myself to knit about 8 years ago. Love it. I’m slowly teaching myself to be a better photographer.
I think it’s really cool that you made this list!
kacey’s last blog post..Easy 1 2 3 Bread
Kacey, it’s funny that I talk about learning things in an organized way in the list (classes and whatnot) and yet I’ve really been much more of a self-teacher…and yes, it’s *so* much fun 🙂 Good on you for knitting and photographing better!
That sounds like a great list.
birchsprite’s last blog post..Look at the leaves
Thanks birchsprite 🙂
I had one of those lists.
I put so much pressure on myself, then felt depressed when I didn’t reach my goals (esp. regarding things I had no control over, like getting married and having kids).
nyc/caribbean ragazza’s last blog post..Writers strike could end this week.
I guess I don’t really think of them as goals, per se, but as ideas of things that I’d like to do sometime within th next 8 years or so. I’m not the type of person to put too much pressure on myself (it’s certainly not a checklist!), so lists work for me, but obviously they aren’t good for everyone.
What a great list! I’ll tell you a little secret…I miss school too! Shhh, don’t tell anyone, they’ll think we’re nerds or something! 😉 I too want to take a photography course of some sort, and would LOVE to learn sign language, and a lot of the other things on your list as well.
Karina’s last blog post..Some business to attend to – A Valentine’s Day Giveaway!
Karina, if only we were in the same place, we could take all these classes (and be nerds) together!
Here are some sites that might help you with any book goals:
http://manybooks.net/
http://librivox.org/
http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page
http://www.bookmooch.com
Jennifer H.’s last blog post..My Husband, My Hero
Hey Jennifer, thanks so much! You originally went to the spam folder because there were more than two links in your comment…but I’m so happy there were. Great links!
Great list! You are one ambitious lady!
Re 14 and 15 you have to do both of those 🙂 I am qualified to comment as I lived in Australia for 26 years and went to Hawaii on our honeymoon, both of which are wonderful places! 🙂
No. 12 – that would take me about 100 years.. hahaha.
No. 20 – would love to help you with this one.
Thanks for the support! Maybe all of us interested should find an online photography course and do it together….
As an amateur Genealogist, I have been tracing my German family in Russian Poland and Ukraine.
My Father and family arrived at Ellis Island in 1904 and stayed in North Dakatoa until emigrating to Canada in 1915.
I belong to the Society for German Genealogy in Eastern Europe which concentrates in those two countries but our members have a broad knowledge base that can sometimes extend to other outlying areas.
I am willing to attempt some preliminary research for your family and villiages, at least to the get you started, if you are willing to share some family information with me.
As a Librarian, I also love a challenging research project.
John, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
jfrauchert at shaw.ca
Hi John, thanks so much for your comment! My German family is actually traced back pretty far in America (mostly through the work of others), but once it gets to where they actually came from in Germany, it’s a dead end. I have to dig up what I have; I’ll be in touch 🙂
Great list! I’d like to come up with my own, but it would have to be a 40 by 50 list…and that makes me very depressed indeed. I love your goal of only having clothes in your closet that you actually where. If I didn’t also live in Europe and have limited storage, I wouldn’t appreciate this goal as much as I do now.
Diane Mandy’s last blog post..Podcast: Served up with a side of grits
Yes, the limited space of Europe definitely has something to do with my clutter-related goals too 😉
What a great list. Goodluck on #1 — you sure have your priorities in order. #2 you definitely should! The good genes need to be multiplied! 😉
I would love to create my own list too. Now I will have to stare at the ceiling and think hard. Sleep will come veery late tonight!
grace’s last blog post..apparently everyone learned their lesson
Thanks Grace; can’t wait to see what you come up with 🙂
That is a great list. I’ve seen a lot of “30 before 30” lists and thought, “Well, too late for that for me.” Not sure why it didn’t occur to me that I should be thinking ahead and creating a list for a later target! I’ll have to think on this…
Stefanie’s last blog post..I’m a winner (and you can be, too)
Too funny Stefanie…get writing!
Great idea making a list, I’ll have to give this some thought.
If you need a place to stay for #36, I have a guest room that I’d be happy to let you use.
Woohoo Linda, on the list and guest room 😉
Oh…You should visit the Grand Canyon! It’s wonderful (and practically in my backyard) although, I have to admit…it looks a lot like it does in pictures. The fun way to do it is to catch the train from Williams and stay overnight at the canyon in one of the great hotels! Lot’s of good hiking to be had as well…
I suppose I should get started on my list as well…I only have 2 more years until 40. gulp…and I really want to have kids…
sadira’s last blog post..Beer and Brawts…
Thanks for the suggestion. Everyone has me so excited…must start saving up! Ah and best of luck on your list!
#41 Link to Bleeding Expresso! The Monk has done it again. What a delightful site.
MandT at http://adgitadiaries.blog-city.com
Why thank you! Welcome!
Great list! I hope you get to all of them! ; )
Anali’s last blog post..Comfort Foods Roundup!
Thanks Anali 🙂
Well let’s see now, since I have 60 coming up in a few weeks I don’t really have 60 things I’d like to do but I am working on the Bucket List. From the movie that’s currently playing, except in my case it’s getting rid of 60 things I no longer need or want and wouldn’t want to burden anyone with having to get rid of. Does that make sense? The few things I still want to do are; go back to Turkey since I didn’t see enough of it last year, explore my homeland of Germany a little more starting with Dresden in the fall, make lots more pottery this summer and try to stay healthy. That’s it for me…ciao
rositta’s last blog post..The World Is Getting Nuttier By The Day
The Bucket List works too; and it seems like you’ve thought of a “things to do” list as well…all great goals. Thanks for sharing Rositta 🙂
Oh I vote for Lithuanian, since I’m half Lidvak (sp?) but third generation, so there isn’t much we speak. If you take French, you’ll probably pick up on it pretty easily, if that’s a benefit to you.
And I hope you’ll still be posting here when it comes down to wedding and baby time…because baby pictures kill me with the cute.
Christine’s last blog post..Because I cannot look at the last post anymore
I’m with you on the Lithuanian–I’d *love* to learn it. French is useful since P has a sister who lives in France and his nieces and nephews *only* speak French! Crazy isn’t it?
And I will certainly keep posting through any wedding/baby events. How could I not?!
Wow! I think I feel a connection to all forty, in some way or another.
I think it’s great you know you want children. I hope you get married and start a family, pronto!
I love the recipe book, the dancing in the kitchen and the hugging and kissing. The latter two truly are the gems of a relationship.
I hope you do make it to Australia, and I hope I’m still here when you arrive.
I’m with you on knowing more world history and organising photos – whew I have loads that need attention. I’m glad we have digital now. I find it easier to keep them organised.
Enjoyed reading this.
xo
cheeky’s last blog post..A Sign of Promise
The digital makes it easier, and yet I’m still horrible at it…what I really want are all the old family photos and photos from my childhood/high school/college, etc. somehow organized. Of course I don’t even have those here, so it’ll be a while 😉
Glad you enjoyed the list!
between you & beckie (a slice of life on the she who blogs list) i am gonna need to move on this list thing! d. & i did a life’s to-do list 5 or so years ago…i guess my first item on the new list is finding that one! (mine will be a 50 before 50 list, dear goodness!…but i have almost the whole decade to get crackin’!)
there are a great many wonderful things on your list & it made my heart smile to see get married & have a family at the top~~ they are without a doubt the best things i have done as an adult. keep us posted as you move through this list…
(ps. i think a visit to southern italy will be on my list 😉
qualcosa di bello’s last blog post..1000 gifts & counting…
Qualcosa, woohoo! Come on down! And I will definitely keep you posted on the list–one of the reasons for posting it was to push me to actually do some of them 🙂
I love your list. I wrote my own “life list” over the summer. You can read it on my blog. Just search “life list.”
Bella’s last blog post..Kooza
Will do Bella! Thanks!
Great list! It looks a lot like one of my old lists. What a bummer that there are no (free) public libraries in Italy. Thank God for Andrew Carnegie here. When you get to the Grand Canyon (the sky so blue with orange clouds, Photoshop not necessary), make time for Brice and Zion National Parks, too as they are also beautiful. And, as far as Las Vegas, why? The Venetian, the Bellagio, you got the real thing and they aren’t cheesy, smoke filled casinos. (Sorry, I used to live in Nevada and worked in a casino.) And, I’ve never seen a Broadway play but I’ve seen lots of theater in London which is a little closer to home for you. The tickets are cheaper, easier to obtain and you can have much, much better seats. One of my favorite musicals was Les Miserables. We sat close about the fourth row back from the stage near center. The prop smoke wafted over us. We cried as the lead actress locked eyes and held us in her grip singing her death song. We were ready to go off and join the French Revolution. Seats not as good as those are $200+ in San Francisco, if you can get them. I can’t imagine what they must cost on Broadway. Still haven’t made it to Australia myself. But, the nice thing about lists is that they evolve. You don’t have to be a slave to them. For myself, you already have my #1, live in Italy!!!!
Homebody at Heart’s last blog post..A Perfect San Francisco Day
Good point about London; I’d like to go there too. With cheap flights, it’s possible, but then everything else is so expensive there 🙁
As for Vegas, that’s a P thing, plus I think it’d just be interesting to see once. I wouldn’t even want to stay there, I don’t think, but just to soak in the shady atmosphere for a while…and then shower for a LONG time 😉
It sure is nice to be so young and so driven. I am sure that you’ll meet all of your goals!
Thanks Gil. I’m driven enough to write them down, but….
Great list! I loved all the sweet relationship stuff you have on their like learning to cook each other’s foods and dancing in the kitchen. 😉
The list reminds me of when I was a teenager and wrote a letter to myself, not to be opened until the year 2000. It was mostly a bunch of questions about where I would end up for college or career. These days, I tend to have a before I die with no particular timeline.
RE: Vegas and the Grand Canyon, I just did that this past summer. It’s on my sidebar under virtual tours if you want to see. If you’re interested, I did a plane/helicopter/boat trip to the West Rim from Vegas. I thought it was quite reasonable for everything that was included. Also, b/c my brother’s in-laws this past summer drove instead and ended up with a flat b/c of the severely poor roads. Stranded in the middle of the desert in above 100 degree weather? No thanks!
I did Yosemite years ago and absolutely loved it.
As for Hawaii, I was very underwhelmed. Mainly b/c the amount of money getting and staying there, I’d rather put into traveling abroad.
Wandering Chopsticks’s last blog post..German Oven Pancakes
Ooh, I’ll definitely check out your virtual tours! As for Hawaii, I have some friends there, so that is definitely part of the attraction, but yes, I’m not too excited about the money that’d be involved in doing most of my list!
On “there”! Gah! I hate typos.
Me too (when I make them, I mean). Feel free to correct anytime!
What a great list. You inspire me! I can definitely help you with any info needed for a trip to Hawaii and would love the chance to meet in person. I also know some sign language, but no Lithuanian or Greek and only a few words of French 🙂
Thanks for your offer; don’t be surprised if I take you up on it 😉
Whoops, I guess I deleted the second half of my post…
I am too close to 50 to be able to accomplish 50 at this point.
Maybe I should shoot for 55 before 55, although that sure is a lot of goals to attain.
Eh, I think the numbers are less important than verbalizing (sort of!) what you wouldn’t mind happening over the next few years, even in a general way 🙂
great list! i read through all of them, and they are all really good goals! i’d like to make a list like this at some point too. i’ve been in need of goals lately!
the grand canyon is definitely a worthy goal–my husband and I were just talking yesterday about how much we’d like to go back.
-jackie
Jackie’s last blog post..Macerata Monday: Details of the Walls
Hey Jackie, nice to see you! I think some goals can be good every once in a while, although I’m not a slave to them by any means. I live in Italy for goodness’ sake…how much can we really expect to happen according to plan 😉
Predictably your list is not so different from what mine would be if I were at your place in life.
#21 better send them from Lithuania since at least 50% of important things I have sent in Italy never got where they were going.
#25 a peeve– there is no such thing as “change up” — yes I know it is slang of recent years but it is driving me nuts. Since design is my background I get to whine when it is applied to my field, right? Here is advice: every house I designed that ever was said to be totally finished ended up with the family broken. Home like lives are not finished, they are processing.
#39 cannot imagine how that crawled onto this list! Yanno, they are going to have to turn off those lights eventually.
Judith in Umbria’s last blog post..A fascinating map
Judith, I’ve been fairly lucky with the Italian postal service–even with some insane waits, things have mostly gotten to where they need to be, especially *from* here. *To* here is where I run into issues.
As for the change up, what I’m talking about are adjusting color schemes in the bedrooms (a nursery perhaps!), maybe adding a balcony if our neighbors let us–when I say I want things mostly settled, I’m talking about having floors, windows, and appliances that will be there for as long as they can feasibly last. Anyway as you know Judith, nothing in Italy *can* be totally finished. I think it’s written in the Constitution or something 😉
Vegas? That’s P’s fault. He also wants to go to Miami. I don’t really get it either, but I’m willing to make room for one or two of his desires on my list.
It’s the verbiage I was whining about. I will allow you to change to alter or transform, and could come up with more as well, but I will not allow you to add up to any of them!
Judith in Umbria’s last blog post..A fascinating map
I shall be more careful in the future 😉
What a wonderfully ambitious list. I think it is great to write out the things we would like to accomplish in our lifetime. Somehow it seems to plant the seeds needed to actually get those things done.
Debbie Egizio’s last blog post..Art Shark Cocktail hour
That’s exactly how I feel about it Debbie…planting seeds. Perfetto 🙂
a wonderful post and admirable goals – each and every one!
jen of a2eatwrite’s last blog post..What’s Cooking Wednesday: Jen’s Chocolate Custard
Thanks Jen; it was definitely fun fantasizing and dreaming 🙂
great list, I may have to make one myself, but it will be a 50 before 50 because I’ll be 40 this summer!
Joanne’s last blog post..The Best Pasta Sauce in the World
Yeah Joanne! I’d love to read it 🙂
What a great list. Very similar to one I made a long time ago. Aside from marriage, knitting and the Grand Canyon, we are spot on for the rest of it.
We must chat about religion sometime, you and I, as I delved into many studies when the curiosity bit me and I would love to compare notes, ideas and opinions with you. It would be a fascinating conversation!
Scarlett & Viaggiatore
Wanderlust Scarlett’s last blog post..Rolling Out The Red Carpet
Yes we definitely must…once I get studying of course. Right now I only know a smattering of some of the major ones, and that, ironically, is thanks to an old CCD (Catholic instruction) teacher who gave us info on Taoism, Buddhism, Islam, etc….and I still remember a lot of it actually. But still, must study!
Hey, great list. You have inspired me to make one of my own. A few months ago I made a list of what I could think of up until now that I wanted to do in life (in order to see when I can do what). But it is a good idea to get more specific and do a 30 before 30 list, so I think I will work on it. I’m excited now!
Ryan’s last blog post..Happy Valentine’s Day
Can’t wait to read your list 🙂
I didn’t know you had Lithuanian ancestry.
I have visited the country and made a point of learning some of the language before I went. It’s no more difficult than German (in fact, it’s similar in terms of construction).
I’d love to visit again.
So, Lithuanian definitely gets my vote! Gerai!
Ooh, my first lesson! I think I just may take the Lithuanian plunge….
Great list! And you know if you go to the Grand Canyon, you’ll have to tell us and Eddie and I will meet you in Tucson and show you around. We may or may not have a house by then, but we’ll still give you the tour. And Vegas is only 7 hours from Tucson – so you can do everything in one fell swoop! 🙂
Salena’s last blog post..Eddie Friday
Salena, I think we have a while before we’re touring the Wild Wild West, but I will *definitely* let you know 🙂
great list. I’m coming up with my own as i type.