Comments on: Discovering the Secret of Happiness http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html Sun, 20 May 2012 13:45:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: PassagetoItaly http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html/comment-page-1#comment-287949 PassagetoItaly Thu, 30 Sep 2010 04:46:18 +0000 http://bleedingespresso.com/?p=3156#comment-287949 Michelle, In-person communication definitely is very special, and in many ways can't be replicated through technology. Yes, you can be happy to hear someone's voice or see someone through a webcam, but physically being with the person is something different unto itself. This is particularly so when dealing with a long distance relationship. Too much a way time is really tough. But then again, I guess it all depends on the person. Once I finally move to Italy (hopefully in this lifetime haha), I think I will have to see my family at least once a year. To not be able to see them at all, and miss out on every get together during the year would be heartbreaking for me. It would be better if I could just uproot my whole family, and bring them there, but that is not possible. Hopefully they come up with 'teleportation' soon! <strong><em>Well I think there's a huge difference between friendships and intimate relationships...intimate relationships just *need* that intimacy of being in person....</em></strong> Michelle,

In-person communication definitely is very special, and in many ways can’t be replicated through technology. Yes, you can be happy to hear someone’s voice or see someone through a webcam, but physically being with the person is something different unto itself. This is particularly so when dealing with a long distance relationship. Too much a way time is really tough.

But then again, I guess it all depends on the person. Once I finally move to Italy (hopefully in this lifetime haha), I think I will have to see my family at least once a year. To not be able to see them at all, and miss out on every get together during the year would be heartbreaking for me. It would be better if I could just uproot my whole family, and bring them there, but that is not possible.

Hopefully they come up with ‘teleportation’ soon!

Well I think there’s a huge difference between friendships and intimate relationships…intimate relationships just *need* that intimacy of being in person….

]]> By: Ginny http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html/comment-page-1#comment-270363 Ginny Sun, 08 Feb 2009 15:45:18 +0000 http://bleedingespresso.com/?p=3156#comment-270363 I have two comments... Like Julie, I moved from DC to Chicago (so she wins on the distance) and it has been down right hard! I left my friends, family and amazing boyfriend... all to go to law school... what was I thinking! But having the phone/internet makes it easier to keep the connection and it does make me happier... My boyfriend and I will watch movies together and are able to talk to each other during it... I can call my best friend and yes, laugh forever when I need to destress a bit... also, in the blogging world, you make friends that you may never meet in person but these friends ships enrich your life... there is something about having a horrible day but getting a message from your blogging friend that makes you a bit happier! :) the internet/telephone are not a bad way to communicate... as long as you know when to get off the phone and be together in real life! <strong><em>So true, Ginny; I hope law school is going well for you otherwise :) Thanks for stopping by!</em></strong> I have two comments… Like Julie, I moved from DC to Chicago (so she wins on the distance) and it has been down right hard! I left my friends, family and amazing boyfriend… all to go to law school… what was I thinking! But having the phone/internet makes it easier to keep the connection and it does make me happier… My boyfriend and I will watch movies together and are able to talk to each other during it… I can call my best friend and yes, laugh forever when I need to destress a bit…

also, in the blogging world, you make friends that you may never meet in person but these friends ships enrich your life… there is something about having a horrible day but getting a message from your blogging friend that makes you a bit happier! :) the internet/telephone are not a bad way to communicate… as long as you know when to get off the phone and be together in real life!

So true, Ginny; I hope law school is going well for you otherwise :) Thanks for stopping by!

]]> By: Julie http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html/comment-page-1#comment-270237 Julie Thu, 05 Feb 2009 18:30:28 +0000 http://bleedingespresso.com/?p=3156#comment-270237 I moved from Philadelphia to Anchorage, Alaska a few years ago and most of my friends and family are now 3,000 miles away. There is nothing better for me than calling my best friend on the phone and laughing for 45 minutes. Also, seeing pictures of my friends playing with their children makes me smile too. :) <strong><em>I'm with you, Julie. Completely. Thanks for coming by :)</em></strong> I moved from Philadelphia to Anchorage, Alaska a few years ago and most of my friends and family are now 3,000 miles away. There is nothing better for me than calling my best friend on the phone and laughing for 45 minutes. Also, seeing pictures of my friends playing with their children makes me smile too. :)

I’m with you, Julie. Completely. Thanks for coming by :)

]]> By: jen of a2eatwrite http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html/comment-page-1#comment-270151 jen of a2eatwrite Wed, 04 Feb 2009 02:14:34 +0000 http://bleedingespresso.com/?p=3156#comment-270151 I like both. I've had the pleasure of meeting several friends who started as online friends, and I've generally had the same experience of them in person that I did when I "knew" them online. That being said, there is no doubt that I try to collect positive folks around me and do much better when I do. And I love spending face to face time with folks I enjoy! <abbr><em>jen of a2eatwrite’s last blog post..<a href="http://a2eatwrite.blogspot.com/2009/02/music-monday-novel-play-list.html" rel="nofollow">Music Monday: Novel Play List</a></em></abbr> <strong><em>I think a lot depends on the particular people involved...how much you let your guard down with online friends, etc. I like it both ways too :)</em></strong> I like both. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting several friends who started as online friends, and I’ve generally had the same experience of them in person that I did when I “knew” them online.

That being said, there is no doubt that I try to collect positive folks around me and do much better when I do. And I love spending face to face time with folks I enjoy!

jen of a2eatwrite’s last blog post..Music Monday: Novel Play List

I think a lot depends on the particular people involved…how much you let your guard down with online friends, etc. I like it both ways too :)

]]> By: gwen http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html/comment-page-1#comment-270146 gwen Wed, 04 Feb 2009 00:31:38 +0000 http://bleedingespresso.com/?p=3156#comment-270146 I have never been able to establish online relationships. I am an eyeball to eyeball kind of person. I blog daily and get lots of feedback, but its just not the same for me. <abbr><em>gwen’s last blog post..The 109 Day Link Building Explosion - Day 34</em></abbr> <strong><em>Hmm...maybe you just haven't met the right online acquaintances yet :)</em></strong> I have never been able to establish online relationships. I am an eyeball to eyeball kind of person. I blog daily and get lots of feedback, but its just not the same for me.

gwen’s last blog post..The 109 Day Link Building Explosion – Day 34

Hmm…maybe you just haven’t met the right online acquaintances yet :)

]]> By: Laurie http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html/comment-page-1#comment-270144 Laurie Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:45:55 +0000 http://bleedingespresso.com/?p=3156#comment-270144 Cute article! I wish happiness was always contagious.. there are so many people right now who need cheering up. I find their are certain online friends I gravitate to because they do give me a sense of cheer and jovialness! :) When it comes to phone friends I think they would probably get off the phone with me feeling uptight.. because my kids are so loud and cantankerous! <abbr><em>Laurie’s last blog post..<a href="http://foodnewsandreviews.blogspot.com/2009/02/meatloaf-dalla-mia-cucina.html" rel="nofollow">Meatloaf Dalla Mia Cucina</a></em></abbr> <strong><em>Hah, excellent points Laurie :)</em></strong> Cute article! I wish happiness was always contagious.. there are so many people right now who need cheering up. I find their are certain online friends I gravitate to because they do give me a sense of cheer and jovialness! :) When it comes to phone friends I think they would probably get off the phone with me feeling uptight.. because my kids are so loud and cantankerous!

Laurie’s last blog post..Meatloaf Dalla Mia Cucina

Hah, excellent points Laurie :)

]]> By: Irene http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html/comment-page-1#comment-270141 Irene Tue, 03 Feb 2009 18:12:13 +0000 http://bleedingespresso.com/?p=3156#comment-270141 I am very pleased when I find "real" people with whom I can connect. I have currently two close girlfriends with whom we share facts and dreams and it really feels OK to be with them. Then there are relatives and customers, neighbours and people you know. Sharing a smile, a nice word, really makes me start my day wih a smile. The thing with blogging is that you can actually pick the feeling. I can choose whom I frequent: I can read and not comment; I can stop visiting; i can re-start visiting. And I can be who I want to be, because I do not have to express or hide my feelings out of social or professonal obligation. In short, my friends make me happy and I feel at ease with them; blogging is the next best thing! <abbr><em>Irene’s last blog post..<a href="http://happy-turtle-deco.blogspot.com/2009/02/domino-and-new-meme.html" rel="nofollow">Domino and a new Meme!</a></em></abbr> <strong><em>That sums things up rather nicely, Irene :)</em></strong> I am very pleased when I find “real” people with whom I can connect. I have currently two close girlfriends with whom we share facts and dreams and it really feels OK to be with them.
Then there are relatives and customers, neighbours and people you know. Sharing a smile, a nice word, really makes me start my day wih a smile.
The thing with blogging is that you can actually pick the feeling. I can choose whom I frequent: I can read and not comment; I can stop visiting; i can re-start visiting. And I can be who I want to be, because I do not have to express or hide my feelings out of social or professonal obligation.
In short, my friends make me happy and I feel at ease with them; blogging is the next best thing!

Irene’s last blog post..Domino and a new Meme!

That sums things up rather nicely, Irene :)

]]> By: Mark http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html/comment-page-1#comment-270139 Mark Tue, 03 Feb 2009 15:57:52 +0000 http://bleedingespresso.com/?p=3156#comment-270139 What an interesting question. I firmly believe the first concept is right on. Surround yourself with miserable people - you know the type, everything is always going wrong, nothing works out for the best. 50 million people attended the superbowl and one of them got injured! OMG - and no matter how upbeat you are, you will end up being miserable. Even solid granite standing against the waves is eventually battered into submission. I really agree with Saretta. I have a few online friends, would like to have more. But face-to-face, meeting for an evening of food/wine/talk reconnects so much better than typing. Perhaps its because so few people type very well, not in the spelling sense but they use the screen to convey facts, not the effortless humanity that comes from body language, smiles and voice inflection. Online is better than nothing, and as LJ says, its a great filler for when you can't be with friends personally but for me it doesn't replace my need to see them in person. <strong><em>Great stuff, Mark. And yes, a lack of typing skills are definitely a downside to some online friendships...excellent point :)</em></strong> What an interesting question. I firmly believe the first concept is right on. Surround yourself with miserable people – you know the type, everything is always going wrong, nothing works out for the best. 50 million people attended the superbowl and one of them got injured! OMG – and no matter how upbeat you are, you will end up being miserable. Even solid granite standing against the waves is eventually battered into submission.

I really agree with Saretta. I have a few online friends, would like to have more. But face-to-face, meeting for an evening of food/wine/talk reconnects so much better than typing. Perhaps its because so few people type very well, not in the spelling sense but they use the screen to convey facts, not the effortless humanity that comes from body language, smiles and voice inflection. Online is better than nothing, and as LJ says, its a great filler for when you can’t be with friends personally but for me it doesn’t replace my need to see them in person.

Great stuff, Mark. And yes, a lack of typing skills are definitely a downside to some online friendships…excellent point :)

]]> By: LJ http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html/comment-page-1#comment-270138 LJ Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:47:59 +0000 http://bleedingespresso.com/?p=3156#comment-270138 Wow, I don't agree. I have a lot of friends who do not live in the same town as me, so we stay in touch via email or phone regularly - and those same people are the ones who are usually the best calming influence on me. Would I love to have them in person? Sure. Do I think their effect is diluted because they are not physically here? No way. <abbr><em>LJ’s last blog post..<a href="http://www.citygrits.net/2009/02/todays-bits_03.html" rel="nofollow">today's bits</a></em></abbr> <em><strong>I'm wondering if our brains are actually changing with new situations presented...would be interesting to see a similar study in another 5 or 10 years....</strong></em> Wow, I don’t agree. I have a lot of friends who do not live in the same town as me, so we stay in touch via email or phone regularly – and those same people are the ones who are usually the best calming influence on me. Would I love to have them in person? Sure. Do I think their effect is diluted because they are not physically here? No way.

LJ’s last blog post..today’s bits

I’m wondering if our brains are actually changing with new situations presented…would be interesting to see a similar study in another 5 or 10 years….

]]> By: City Girl http://bleedingespresso.com/2009/02/discovering-the-secret-of-happiness.html/comment-page-1#comment-270137 City Girl Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:24:14 +0000 http://bleedingespresso.com/?p=3156#comment-270137 I think the writer makes the assumption that in-person friendships are always an option - I get lots of warm fuzzies from my bloggy friendships (including you Michelle :) ) and also my email friendships with peopel I actually know IRL and don't see often - and yes, I do enjoy in-person contact with my positive friends, but the sad truth is that time and distance and different jobs and moves around often means you dont get to see those lovely people that often. And my family lives far away. So, "supplementing" my in person friendships with frequent email contact with both IRL and bloggy friends contributes more to my personal happiness than trying to schedule time to see more people. PS - I have not forgotten about the soaps - I just need to be home and awake and not working on something for more than 30 minutes and I swear I will get them sorted and packed up :) <abbr><em>City Girl’s last blog post..<a href="http://citygirllifestyle.blogspot.com/2009/01/its-been-long-week-but-theres-been-much.html" rel="nofollow">It's been a long week...</a></em></abbr> <strong><em>Hah, no worries at all on the soaps, and yes, sometimes in-person just isn't possible so we make do. I can see a lot of people during the day here, but only a few are actually going to make me happy ;)</em></strong> I think the writer makes the assumption that in-person friendships are always an option – I get lots of warm fuzzies from my bloggy friendships (including you Michelle :) ) and also my email friendships with peopel I actually know IRL and don’t see often – and yes, I do enjoy in-person contact with my positive friends, but the sad truth is that time and distance and different jobs and moves around often means you dont get to see those lovely people that often. And my family lives far away. So, “supplementing” my in person friendships with frequent email contact with both IRL and bloggy friends contributes more to my personal happiness than trying to schedule time to see more people. PS – I have not forgotten about the soaps – I just need to be home and awake and not working on something for more than 30 minutes and I swear I will get them sorted and packed up :)

City Girl’s last blog post..It’s been a long week…

Hah, no worries at all on the soaps, and yes, sometimes in-person just isn’t possible so we make do. I can see a lot of people during the day here, but only a few are actually going to make me happy ;)

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