You Know You’re in Italy When…
Yesterday over at Twitter, the always lovely and informative ExpatCoach asked those of us with, ahem, Italian experience to fill in the blank:
You know you’re in Italy when…
A smattering of what ExpatCoach, Cherrye, Miss Expatria, Tina, and I came up with, within minutes:
- …you can have a conversation with a stranger comprised entirely of facial expressions, hand gestures, and no words.
- …you can say, “Boh?” and you’ve said a mouthful.
- …you have to APPLY to complete an application for something.
- …you wait in line for three hours at the Post Office…to pay a bill.
- …your taxi driver’s hands are too busy waving & threatening other drivers to actually touch the steering wheel.
- …you pour the wine over-handed and your guests gasp and bless themselves.
- …your ability to digest milk (at any time of day) and drink ice cold drinks even while eating hot food astounds.
- …perfect strangers worry about your catching a cold because you’re not dressed warmly enough. In July.
- …you’re handed a scarf when you say your throat feels a bit scratchy.
- …you’re the only person at IKEA without their entire extended family in tow.
- …someone you just met invites you to dinner at their house.
- …€5 on a bottle of wine is a splurge.
- …posted schedules, hours of operation, etc. mean precisely nothing (except sciopero ones).
- …someone, somewhere is in sciopero.
- …you get honked at for letting an old lady cross the street.
- …someone thinks your turkey wrap is a foreign food they’d never touch.
- …your friend says “I quit drinking coffee. Now I only have three cups a day.”
- …you find figs on your doorstep.
And now I’ll add:
- …your morning errands take you to one shop for produce, another for bread, another for cheese, and yet another for meat–and you love every single minute of it.
I thought this woud be a fun weekend fill-in, so Italophiles, play along please:
You know you’re in Italy when…
Need some inspiration?
And be sure to visit ExpatCoach at Career By Choice and show her some love!
Buon weekend!
75 Beans of Wisdom to “You Know You’re in Italy When…”
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Add your two beans of wisdom.
Recipes
…you ask for cappuccino after lunch and they all look at you funny.
paul of crazy like whoa’s last blog post..50,022
Indeed!
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When the guy from the telephone company comes to fix your phone and finds out you have DSL, he does the sign of the cross.
Diana’s last blog post..The Art of Innkeeping I
Love it! At least you got the guy from the telephone company to come
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Perfect strangers acknowledge you while you are out taking a walk!
Like a simple “buona sera” or just a “sera” from the old timers at the beach.
‘Tis lovely indeed
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Michelle,
This is fantastic! I think that the list should continue to grow….I am sure we could reach 100 quickly!
Thanks for documenting this-it was lots of fun to make!
Megan
Megan’s last blog post..Expat Tax: Bona Fide Residency Test for FEIE – Part 2
Sounds great Megan!
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Ooh, Schintilla is really good at that. You should ask her to join in!
Umm.. You know you’re i Italy when you are 34 years old , dragging along a stubborn child, feeling a right mess and a 24 year old waiter eyes you up and calls, “ciao bambola!”.
See this is just one of the many reasons to love Italy
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This was SO much fun yesterday…
Let me think.
It’s 90 degrees outside and people are riding in their cars with the air OFF and windows UP. Fear of catching a breeze, ya know?!?
cherrye at My Bella Vita’s last blog post..La Buona Cucina Americana: Baked PotatOes
Been there, nearly suffered from heat exhaustion doing that….
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when the vendor at your market says “buona giornata tesoro” .
nyc/caribbean ragazza’s last blog post..Flashback Friday – 39th season of Sesame Street, Dave Chappelle
Aaaaw
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…when holding and hugging and kissing your child is considered spoiling them, but making their bed for them until they are 40 isn’t.
joanne at frutto della passione’s last blog post..An announcement and a contest
Sìììììììììì!!!!!!
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- When you pay extra for the faster train ( ESor IC) and still arrive an hour late.
- when you can not get your check after you have eaten until an hour later.
-when you pay for ISDN double access on your phone and for a year pay extra and it doesn’t go faster and finally get it removed and the repair guy says” of course it’s not working, only one of the wires was connected”.
- given hot milk when you are congested
-you are living with your boyfriend and he still takes his laundry to his mom to be done, ” or she will think he doesn’t love her”.
just some thoughts.. there are so many!
I think it is a book!
Diva’s last blog post..Edible Florence- Gastone
Oh my goodness, the ISDN one is *ridiculous*! Notice I didn’t say “unbelievable” or “incredible.”
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You are watching the news and see that the ex-workers for Alitalia are absolutely in shock that when they said the company would crash if you didn’t make a deal, and you didn’t make a deal, it crashed.
Then the president of your union says, “I am certain the Berlusconi will come up with something.”
Judith in Umbria’s last blog post..La buona cucina americana: Baked Potatoes
See this is why I don’t watch the news. And when I do, I remove all throwable objects from reach.
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…you get a doctor’s appointment for the same day and you treat everyone to a round of drinks
Definite cause for celebration, Sara!
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Michelle, thanks for the not so subtle Twitter reminder to get myself over here.
Here’s my contribution to you know you’re in Italy when…
…when drivers go the wrong way around roundaouts because it’s faster
…you wait in line for three hours at the Post Office…to pay a bill. And then queue up to do it all over again because you also need stamps.
when you’ve struggled through antipasti, primo, secondo, side dish, bread, cheese, fruit, dessert, coffee, cake, chocolate and your hosts can’t understand why you might be struggling to move
…when you can’t go direct to the person you need because it means a loss of face. First you have to ask someone you trust to introduce you someone who then introduces you to someone else
…when the only remedy for a bad stomach is white rice, olive oil and parmesan cheese washed down with hot cammomile tea
…when friends and family tell you it’s dangerous for you to swim in the sea because you’re still warm and congested from your last coffee over an hour ago
…when police don’t bat an eyelid when you overtake them, thus breaking the speed limit
…when police drive Fiats – not known for being the speediest cars in the world
…when women go for evening passaggiatas on the beach wearing four-inch heels.
Excellent Emma. And on the last one, to “on the beach” I’ll add “on cobblestone streets!”
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Oh, and I forgot.
…when you see driver and female passenger with their lips clamped together in an act of passion while he’s driving at 100km per hour down the highway (spotted yesterday)
Yikes!
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You know you are in Italy when:
someone such as the internet company, make an appointment to visit your house and then they never show up. You still know your in Italy when you keep calling and calling and more appointments are made and still no one ever shows up.
You know you are in Italy when:
you see a small local fire start up August (for the purpose of this example this was in Taormina,) and thinking you are doing the right thing call you the fire brigade, only to be waiting on line with the automatica voice telling you that you are 4th in line…and when you get to being 1st in line and speak to a real person, they hang up on you!!!
Leanne’s last blog post..D-Day is coming but not fast enough
No good deed goes unpunished Leanne!
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just a few off the top of my head. Sure there’s many more if i actually sat to think about it!
- you are the only one on the bus/ tram that actually stamps your ticket. Others sit there with ticket in hand (unstamped) but ready to do so should an inspector board. Meanwhile, you overhear many snippets of conversations about how bad/ slow the service is…
- you get asked for every scrap of small change at every store you go to. If you don’t have any it often involves asking other customers or the shop assistant digging into THEIR OWN WALLET to get the right change.
- as soon as the weather drops below 30 degrees all the kids are back in jeans and sweaters (heaven forbid they catch a cold!) but are never restrained in the car and in fact often seen ‘driving’.
- people will pull out suddenly into heavy traffic almost causing an accident only to stop at the next store, 20m down teh road.
- you see guys on motorbikes who have their mobiles wedged underneath their helmets (coincidence that helmet use coincided with mobile phone developments?) who will stop their bikes to use TWO frantically waving hands to emphasise their point in their PHONE conversation!!
- your MIL will call you daily for no other reason than to ask what you are having/ had for dinner, where were you when she called before when you didn’t answer and where you are (if on a mobile phone).
- every second phone mobile phone conversation you overhear starts with ‘Ciao Mamma’…..
Yup, you’re in Italy! The change thing still amuses me after all these years, but I have to say, I’ve never seen someone stop their moto to gesticulate–although it doesn’t surprise me to hear it happens!
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Forgot to add (further to last point) …. and the rest of the conversation follows along the lines of the MIL example above.
I’m so lucky with my MIL
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When you walk into your neighborhood bar and they are already making your drink of choice, and later when you get up to pay, one of the regulars has already paid your bill.
When your regular butcher knows your name, what cuts you like, and teaches you some italian while also passing on good recipes.
When you can buy fresh milk from a machine that gets reloaded every three hours or so (post to come!)
When you hear your neighbor’s hens cluck while in the background you can also hear the distinctive sound of a Ferrari speeding down the road.
and so many more…
Beatriz’s last blog post..Home
You know I’ve never even seen a Ferrari here…lots of other nice cars though (in the poor, poor south…hmm). Especially love your first one…so true!
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From a visitors perspective….
…when you can’t wait to get back to your hotel in the middle of the day and take your afternoon nap
….when you have studied to learn Italian, but no matter how you speak it, you are always answered back, in English
…when you decide you are hungry around 2:30 pm, but every good cafe is closed until dinner hour
…when you look both ways to cross the street, step into the road and a vespa comes out of nowhere and almost kills you..and then beeps their toy-like horn as you jump outta your skin.
Fun.
My Mélange’s last blog post..Newport: Around the Wharf
Ah the afternoon naps! And restaurant hours! And deadly Vespas! Indeed, Robin, indeed.
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Oh, and when the liquefaction of the blood of a man dead for centuries does not provoke terror, but rather relief.
paul of crazy like whoa’s last blog post..50,022
And here I thought you were linking to this. I feel safe for at least eight months now….
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…you set out to run three errands and you’re lucky to get one done.
…a group of older men applaud you (yes, applaud you) as you walk by them one sunny day, wearing a skirt and some lipstick.
…every other guy you date turns out to have a girlfriend or a wife and doesn’t feel the least bit guilty about it.
…everybody in your group of friends knows what’s going on in your life before you’ve even told anybody.
…you wake up to a view of cypresses outside your window. Sigh…
…the waiter at lunchtime, straight-faced and serious throughout the meal, brings you a free limoncello and a smile at the end.
…the wine you’re drinking was made just down the street – right near where your olive oil was pressed.
…you go for a walk to pick your (wild) salad for the day.
Tina’s last blog post..On a Mediterranean kick…
Great ones Tina, although I’m sorry about your luck with Italian men
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great list! I was nodding the entire time…LOVE it!
erin :: the olive notes’s last blog post..foodbuzz dinner
Glad you enjoyed Erin! Now how do you know when *you’re* in Italy?
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These are all good ones! I’ve thought of more…
…when you offend someone by telling them you went to a certain city without telling them first, because they know someone who knows someone who could have met you at the station.
or, …when you find it perfectly normal for someone you’ve never met to pick you up at the station and take you to their home for dinner, because they know someone who knows someone you know.
and, …when you get a phone call that you need to run to the station to pick someone up whom you’ve never met before, and you don’t think twice about it.
…when a significant percentage of your meal’s ingredients comes from outside your back door, or from the garden of someone you know.
…when you have at least 2 cell phone numbers for each person in your address book.
Also, did you not like my one about “where are you from?” I get that all the time there…I say “I’m American” or “I’m from New York” and they go, “No, no, where is your family from in Italy?”
Miss Expatria’s last blog post..Student Life, Music Life: Montpellier
Oh I loved them all from yesterday! I think I left a few off just b/c it was getting to be such a long list. But actually, no, I’ve never been asked where my family is from in Italy…could be because *everyone* here where I am is FROM Calabria
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Love it!!
Can’t wait to go to Italy, hoping to next fall. fingers crossed!!
Great post and I LOVE the last pic!! Beautiful!
L
Keep me posted on your travel plans Louise! How exciting
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You know you’re in Italy when you actually let your child back into the swimming pool before (2 1/2 hours before) the compulsory 3 HOURS after eating a half a sandwich and are called a bad mother by all the clucking hens around you… He’ll die of indigestion!
When your mother-in-law actually spends precious time ironing socks and underwear.
jennifer’s last blog post..go
Oh yes. The ubiquitous iron…and I’m glad to know your children are still alive, you risk-taker!
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… when you go to do a construction project and you ask the muratore (mason) how much it’s gonna cost and he tells you “stai tranquilla” – stay calm.
… when your neighbor teaches you how to clean the chain on your chainsaw and he tells you “calma calma sangue freddo” — calm, calm, with cold blood — I guess that is to differentiate from all other moments where hot blood is preferred — or else you might cut your pinkie.
…when your neighbor yells at you — loudly– for not picking the cherries on her tree before they all fell to the ground.
…when the muratore forgets to cash the check you gave him 8 months ago, until one day you look at your bank statement and think what the h…. and remember you wrote a check for that amount 8 months ago.
…when you hire someone to help you with the cleaning and she brings her mother to the job interview to size you up.
…when people from other countries come up your driveway and tell you you are the luckiest person on earth to live here.
Diana’s last blog post..The Art of Innkeeping I
Love these Diana! In the defense of the muratore on the check though, it probably just took that freaking long to clear…checks are so ridiculous to cash here!
And now I can’t get the Luca Dirisio song from a couple years ago out of my head…ci vuole calma…e sangue freddo…calma…ooohhoooh
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My family and I just moved to Naples a few months ago, and these are the things we’ve noticed! (by the way: LOVE your blog!!)
….when you try and tell your new landlords that in fact both parents have been married and divorced 3 times each, they cross themselves.
…when you see more vespas than people in a city.
…When you shoot lemoncello back like a shot of whiskey, you immediately have to explain that you’re Irish to smooth over the faux pas…(it’s true, it happened to me!!)
…When gelato has become the only reason to go to the centro commerciale
…when you give rude drivers the finger, they wave.
…when you tell Italian friends that you ate other cultural cuisine (in my family’s case, sushi) you get ranted at and asked repeatedly what you have against Italian food. (hahahhahahahaa, i still laugh about that….)
Thanks Dominique! I see a trend with all these signs of the cross…and I *love* the shot of limoncello story
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oh and right when I hit send I thought of another one:
….when you see the local kids eating nutella on everything and anything for breakfast, with chocolate on the side.
…when chocolate is considered a health food
…when your hosts offer you wine with dinner, some form of alcohol drenched pastry for dessert, and then a lemoncello (or two or three) on your way out the door.
Yes, yes, and yes Dominique…you’ve “found” Italy indeed
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… when the Prime Minister owns half the tv stations in the country, a publishing house, newspapers, banks, a film production company, a soccer team, etc. and most people are ok with that.
Milanese Masala’s last blog post..The Bratty Bambino Loves Carbonara
Amen.
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OH! this is at least true in Naples…
…when everyone around you picks the same hot, humid, stagnant day to burn their garbage, field, whatever, and your forced to keep your windows open because to run the air conditioner would cost the amount of a car payment back in the states.
Ew!
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This is fun, Michelle!
…when motorcyclists drive on the sidewalk;
…when motorcyclists wear their helmets (so as not to get a fine), but they don’t latch them;
…when seatbelts are considered to be for sissies;
…when you see people driving with their infant or small child sitting in their lap;
but, on the other hand…
…when an octegenarian bursts out in song “un’ora sola ti vorrei!” as you walk by;
…or, when an 18-year-old you’ve never seen before in your life jumps up to kiss the window of the train you’re sitting in…
I could go on, but…this would make a good article, if not a book!
Glad you’re enjoying it–I’m *loving* this! The unlatched helmet thing always gets me too (along with kids everywhere in the car but in a carseat). Love that stolen window kiss too
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You know you’re in Italy when:
- two cars and one motorino are neatly fitted into one parking spot
- the young lady who orders cabs at the Auditorium in Parco del Musica waves, greets you by name and asks how your summer was
- you’re in hospital and the woman across the hall’s cell phone rings at midnight – its her daughter who hasn’t visited that day and the entire floor hears what a bad daughter she is and by the way your brother’s wife is a ungrateful slut! (honest this happened just last week)
Willym’s last blog post..Nuts
Excellent work Willym! Hope you’re feeling better and out of the hospital…have I been in Italy too long when I don’t doubt for one second your last entry? Hmm…sounds like a whole other list we could make of “You know you’ve been in Italy too long when…”
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I’ve got one that I’d been warned about, but didn’t heed during my trip there some years ago…
• if you happen to smile at a man as you pass by, he suddenly does an about face and is practically glued to your hip chatting you up as you continue walking. I never thought my natural American pleasantries could be mistaken for making a pass.
But I also learned that while traveling alone in Italy, I was never really alone. All the men wanted to protect me (the maitre de would shoo away other men strolling by and stopping to try and talk to me, the train conductors would threaten other men in my car to leave me alone, etc.). I loved it!
Christina Arbini’s last blog post..Summer Book Giveaway Contest for September!
Two sides of the same coin indeed, Christina
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Wow, you summed up my life in one post, and I’ve only been to Italy once, and I’m not even Calabraze (but I do dance likea crazy).
Thanks for stopping by, I may have to do another Italiano post real soon.
jMo’s last blog post..Dinner
OK anyone who references Mambo Italiano is good people in my book
Thanks for coming by jMo!
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Hi Michelle! Thanks for popping by and leaving a comment! What a cool blog you’ve got here! XO
C’s last blog post..Why I Love Jeanna
Happy to see you C
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What a great list!
How about…
…when you get yelled at for coming to full stops at Stop signs and red lights
…you’re never too old to get your cheeks pinched by relatives or random people on the street!
Have a great weekend!
Lisa’s last blog post..A walk through Campli
Excellent Lisa
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You know you need a vacation when…
every one of your “you know you’re in italy” answers sound like a dream come true
Come on over Jaden! We (me me me) could use some fabulous Asian cooking down here in the south of Italy
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Thanks for letting me in on this
Lets see…
You know you’re in Italy when …
The tooth fairy is a mouse.
The pizza is so thin that you have to eat it with a knife and fork.
The phrase “Were you born in a barn” translates into ” Were you born in the Colosseum” !
Scintilla’s last blog post..Rain again.
Figcharlie was right…you *are* good at this
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Hey Michelle, great post…although I didn’t understand the one below:
“…you pour the wine over-handed and your guests gasp and bless themselves.”
lovely, lovely photo!
Eryn’s last blog post..Napoletana Ugly Dog is Famous!
Thanks Eryn! I believe what Miss Expatria was referring to is when instead of pouring wine the “normal way” with the hand on top of the bottle as it pours, she had gripped it under the bottle so that the palm of the hand is facing up and then tipped the wine into the glass. Bad luck!
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I love every one! some are true of France – like the scarf around the neck – sundress and scarf in summer…
I need to get to Italy again… Soon!
katie’s last blog post..Carrot and Gruyere Timbales; Bad Eating Habits Spreading….
Come on over Katie!
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Hahaha. Very good. I can relate to most of those. Buon weeekend
Delina’s last blog post..It’s a miracle again!
You too Delina
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You know you are in Italy when…
there are three different prices for coffee depending on where you sit (and you don’t care because you are in Italy!)
Thanks, Michelle; it makes me anxious for the day I return!!
So There Then Gal’s last blog post..Time Travel
Great one!
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You know you’re in Italy when…. your relatives comment on you being overweight, but insist on cooking a 7 course meal for you and saying “mangia, mangia, ma perche’ non mangi…non hai fame?”
You know you’re in Italy when…saying grazie many times or praising the cook like you usually do in America for a wonderful meal is not required because it’s “dovere” and it’s understood.
Very good, Carole
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…when you can get an excellent espresso for less than a euro just about anywhere and it isn’t served in a paper cup!
…when every person at the table orders their own pizza and the pizza is not pre-cut
…when almost everything you eat is fresh and is not full of preservatives
…when the shop owner is standing at the door tapping his/her toes waiting to lock up for lunch while you are obliviously wandering around the shop
Great idea michelle!!
Thank Megan (ExpatCoach)! I’m just providing brainstorming space
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You know your’e in Italy:
…When you sneeze and your neighbour insists you visit the doctor.
…When you have to go in person to pick up your new bank card and the lady in her little office takes a 10 minute personal phonecall just before you sign for it.
casalba’s last blog post..OreganO
Hee hee hee (afterwards, not so much while you’re standing there)
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… someone asks for directions from the bus driver and everyone on the bus has to put in their two cents worth.
… an overheard cel conversation on the bus is made up of only one repeated word “Mama” but the 72 inflections that word is given during the conversation conveys the entire history of a mother-daughter relationship.
Willym’s last blog post..You Know You’re in Italy When …
Keep ‘em coming Willym! I’ve definitely been on the receiving end of those two-cent directions….
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This is too funny – we did the same for Hungary between friends! I will never get over paying bills at the post office – what a waste of time – and the lines are soooo long as well.
NewWrldYankee’s last blog post..What can StumbleUpon Do for Me?
Waste of time indeed; sorry it’s the same in Hungary!
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When you can turn any corner & get the best coffee in the world with a heart-warming smile early in the morning; where you see scooters racing at crossroads signals with wildly gesturing riders revving to go & you think this might well be India!! Be still my heart…the memories…
Deeba’s last blog post..POPPY IN MY LIME COOKIES…COOKIES WITH ZEST!
Awesome Deeba; thanks for chiming in!
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when you take a cold ass shower in stall OUTSIDE on the patio, in the middle of winter! and come back inside to a portable heater in the room.. and then drink a hot cup of espresso; girl.. you make me want to pull out my pics from my last trip there and digitizing all my pics and doing a loong post on it…
Bren@Flanboyanteats.com‘s last blog post..Honey Carrots With 2/3 of Cuban Cuisine Trinity & Food Editor Job!
Oooh would *love* to see that post Bren
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…when the IKEA delivery vehicle is an old Fiat 500 painted yellow!
…when IKEA is a day trip for the family
…when you see 300 types of pasta in the supermarket
…when you realise that you will never be a local
…when the newscasters shout at you the news
…when football is more important than anything else going on in the world
oooh too many to list!!!!
Thanks for adding yours Estelle; the pasta choices truly are astounding here, I agree
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You know you’re in Italy when at your child’s parents’ evening, the children who have refused to eat the minestrone are publicly named and shamed.
Oh my. Che vergogna (for those doing the naming)!
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