Comments on: legislating the seven-year itch http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html Sat, 30 Aug 2008 01:40:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: sognatrice http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html#comment-5407 sognatrice Thu, 27 Sep 2007 19:24:00 +0000 http://siteground218.com/~bleedin2/?p=252#comment-5407 Taffiny, hah--you and my mom! She *really* hates the taste of Pepto; I only mildly dislike it, but wouldn't ever choose to drink it, of course ;) Taffiny, hah–you and my mom! She *really* hates the taste of Pepto; I only mildly dislike it, but wouldn’t ever choose to drink it, of course ;)

]]> By: Taffiny http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html#comment-5388 Taffiny Wed, 26 Sep 2007 23:18:00 +0000 http://siteground218.com/~bleedin2/?p=252#comment-5388 Thanks for being so kind.<br/><br/> The pepto color is pretty but I would rather not take it, as I don't care for the taste. Thanks for being so kind.

The pepto color is pretty but I would rather not take it, as I don’t care for the taste.

]]> By: sognatrice http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html#comment-5336 sognatrice Tue, 25 Sep 2007 13:13:00 +0000 http://siteground218.com/~bleedin2/?p=252#comment-5336 Taffiny, whatever you do, DON'T take that verbal Pepto! And come here as often as you can :)<br/><br/>I love your thoughts on marriage, that you think about it so much, and your cooking analogy--and I can very much relate. I think that, for better or worse, those of us who come from divorced parents are forced to think about what marriage really is--not to say that two parent children don't, but it seems to me to be similar to the difficulty of raising children to appreciate the things you've worked hard to provide--two lower middle class parents who have worked their way up to upper middle class, and then are trying to instill a work ethic/appreciation in their kids when the kids really don't "want" for anything. It's not an easy road, certainly not impossible, but it does take some careful consideration and planned actions, IMHO.<br/><br/>It's not an exact analogy, but for me personally, I know it's why I think so much about this stuff and constantly work at my own relationship--trying to nip problems in the bud, communicating as clearly as possible, etc. I can't speak for all kids of divorce, but this is how it's worked out for me (and many of my friends with divorced/separated parents). <br/><br/>Thanks again for your thoughts Taffiny; they are very much appreciated :) Taffiny, whatever you do, DON’T take that verbal Pepto! And come here as often as you can :)

I love your thoughts on marriage, that you think about it so much, and your cooking analogy–and I can very much relate. I think that, for better or worse, those of us who come from divorced parents are forced to think about what marriage really is–not to say that two parent children don’t, but it seems to me to be similar to the difficulty of raising children to appreciate the things you’ve worked hard to provide–two lower middle class parents who have worked their way up to upper middle class, and then are trying to instill a work ethic/appreciation in their kids when the kids really don’t “want” for anything. It’s not an easy road, certainly not impossible, but it does take some careful consideration and planned actions, IMHO.

It’s not an exact analogy, but for me personally, I know it’s why I think so much about this stuff and constantly work at my own relationship–trying to nip problems in the bud, communicating as clearly as possible, etc. I can’t speak for all kids of divorce, but this is how it’s worked out for me (and many of my friends with divorced/separated parents).

Thanks again for your thoughts Taffiny; they are very much appreciated :)

]]> By: Taffiny http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html#comment-5334 Taffiny Tue, 25 Sep 2007 13:06:00 +0000 http://siteground218.com/~bleedin2/?p=252#comment-5334 well yeah ( I know I went on dreadfully long), but I do spend time trying to figure out what marriage is, and what it is supposed to be, and what mine is, and whether or not it should be something else. I have differing ideas about marriage from different sources (family, media, church, books, experience), and I try to weave them together into some form. So I can see it. When I am cooking I like pictures, to know what I am aiming for, what I want. How it should look, feel, taste, and then how to tweak the recipe so it works best for my family....(oh dear going on again, so I shall stop)<br/>I find marriage intersting-<br/>I have now walked more years on this earth with my husband than I have apart from him. There is more of the I as a we than the I as a me.<br/>Marriage-You meet someone, an unknown, a stranger, get to know him, and then decide to spend the rest of your life with him. You pick each other out of a great sea of people. And decide your journey will from now on, for forever be, together. What an odd, beautiful, crazy, fantastic, thing to decide to do.<br/>(ugh I need verbal pepto) well yeah ( I know I went on dreadfully long), but I do spend time trying to figure out what marriage is, and what it is supposed to be, and what mine is, and whether or not it should be something else. I have differing ideas about marriage from different sources (family, media, church, books, experience), and I try to weave them together into some form. So I can see it. When I am cooking I like pictures, to know what I am aiming for, what I want. How it should look, feel, taste, and then how to tweak the recipe so it works best for my family….(oh dear going on again, so I shall stop)
I find marriage intersting-
I have now walked more years on this earth with my husband than I have apart from him. There is more of the I as a we than the I as a me.
Marriage-You meet someone, an unknown, a stranger, get to know him, and then decide to spend the rest of your life with him. You pick each other out of a great sea of people. And decide your journey will from now on, for forever be, together. What an odd, beautiful, crazy, fantastic, thing to decide to do.
(ugh I need verbal pepto)

]]> By: sognatrice http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html#comment-5313 sognatrice Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:36:00 +0000 http://siteground218.com/~bleedin2/?p=252#comment-5313 Shelley, that's too funny--guess the itch is in the air. Ew ;) Shelley, that’s too funny–guess the itch is in the air. Ew ;)

]]> By: Shelley - At Home in Rome http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html#comment-5312 Shelley - At Home in Rome Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:28:00 +0000 http://siteground218.com/~bleedin2/?p=252#comment-5312 Late on the discussion here, but just wanted to say that I find it really interesting that you mention that it normally takes an expat 7 years to know whether he or she wants to stay or leave a country... it's a coincidence because just this morning I posted a semi-rant about Rome questioning whether or not there exists a sort of seven-year itch for expats. On the brink of year seven, I can say that I am really feeling it!! Late on the discussion here, but just wanted to say that I find it really interesting that you mention that it normally takes an expat 7 years to know whether he or she wants to stay or leave a country… it’s a coincidence because just this morning I posted a semi-rant about Rome questioning whether or not there exists a sort of seven-year itch for expats. On the brink of year seven, I can say that I am really feeling it!!

]]> By: sognatrice http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html#comment-5310 sognatrice Mon, 24 Sep 2007 08:15:00 +0000 http://siteground218.com/~bleedin2/?p=252#comment-5310 Taffiny, wow. You've obviously put a lot of thought into this, and I see that you can see a lot of different sides to the issue as well. Thank you so much for sharing your experience as a child and also as a married woman; our personal experiences obviously play huge roles in how we feel about issues, especially these so closely related to family structure. <br/><br/>Reading all these different experiences really does make one consider that "marriage" just isn't the same for everyone, and maybe the one size fits all approach isn't what's best for our greater happiness. Also makes me consider more Karina's "institution of marriage" comment, and what that means....<br/><br/>Qualcosa, hmm, I'm not so sure it would make a difference. In a happy (content, working, whatever) marriage, a 7-year renewal would be just that--a trip to the marriage equivalent of the DMV (aaah!) to get a new stamp or something. If parents are telling their children, "we're together forever and there's nothing that will change that," why wouldn't a child feel just as secure even with a renewal procedure in place? <br/><br/>In any event, the reality is always the same--there *are* no guarantees, and I think kids feel *that* (some to a greater extent than others) no matter what a law says. If kids are in a loving, happy home, I don't think they'll sit around thinking about their parents divorcing *or* not renewing--and the opposite is probably true too, but I don't see the difference the proposed law would make in those perceptions.<br/><br/>SPF, you're too funny :)<br/><br/>And Shameless, I'm on it!<br/><br/>Thanks again to all who commented; you have made this a wonderful, lively discussion on a touchy subject without things getting ugly--yeah!<br/><br/>I don't mean to end the discussion here, of course, so if you have more to say, just type it :) Taffiny, wow. You’ve obviously put a lot of thought into this, and I see that you can see a lot of different sides to the issue as well. Thank you so much for sharing your experience as a child and also as a married woman; our personal experiences obviously play huge roles in how we feel about issues, especially these so closely related to family structure.

Reading all these different experiences really does make one consider that “marriage” just isn’t the same for everyone, and maybe the one size fits all approach isn’t what’s best for our greater happiness. Also makes me consider more Karina’s “institution of marriage” comment, and what that means….

Qualcosa, hmm, I’m not so sure it would make a difference. In a happy (content, working, whatever) marriage, a 7-year renewal would be just that–a trip to the marriage equivalent of the DMV (aaah!) to get a new stamp or something. If parents are telling their children, “we’re together forever and there’s nothing that will change that,” why wouldn’t a child feel just as secure even with a renewal procedure in place?

In any event, the reality is always the same–there *are* no guarantees, and I think kids feel *that* (some to a greater extent than others) no matter what a law says. If kids are in a loving, happy home, I don’t think they’ll sit around thinking about their parents divorcing *or* not renewing–and the opposite is probably true too, but I don’t see the difference the proposed law would make in those perceptions.

SPF, you’re too funny :)

And Shameless, I’m on it!

Thanks again to all who commented; you have made this a wonderful, lively discussion on a touchy subject without things getting ugly–yeah!

I don’t mean to end the discussion here, of course, so if you have more to say, just type it :)

]]> By: Karina http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html#comment-5308 Karina Mon, 24 Sep 2007 01:59:00 +0000 http://siteground218.com/~bleedin2/?p=252#comment-5308 My initial reaction when I heard about the proposal to this law was "well,that's a cop-out if I've ever heard one". Afer reading a little more about it, and also reading the wonderful comments in response to this post, I have to say, my reaction has not changed.<br/><br/>Like you said, much like the "prenups taking the romance out of it" thing, I'm a firm believer that one does not enter into marriage with a "plan b". This may be why I'm still single at 32. For me, I hope to get married ONCE and only once. I understand things beyond our control can happen, and I don't have any issues with someone getting married a second time if the first didn't work out, but I guess I'm a romantic at heart and want to believe that marriage is forever. A law like this, to me, makes a mockery out of he whole institution of marriage. My initial reaction when I heard about the proposal to this law was “well,that’s a cop-out if I’ve ever heard one”. Afer reading a little more about it, and also reading the wonderful comments in response to this post, I have to say, my reaction has not changed.

Like you said, much like the “prenups taking the romance out of it” thing, I’m a firm believer that one does not enter into marriage with a “plan b”. This may be why I’m still single at 32. For me, I hope to get married ONCE and only once. I understand things beyond our control can happen, and I don’t have any issues with someone getting married a second time if the first didn’t work out, but I guess I’m a romantic at heart and want to believe that marriage is forever. A law like this, to me, makes a mockery out of he whole institution of marriage.

]]> By: somepinkflowers http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html#comment-5306 somepinkflowers Sun, 23 Sep 2007 20:15:00 +0000 http://siteground218.com/~bleedin2/?p=252#comment-5306 what?<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/>what, what?<br/><br/>**ALL** my marriages <br/>last longer than 7 years!<br/><br/>:-)<br/><br/><br/>just joking... what?

what, what?

**ALL** my marriages
last longer than 7 years!

:-)

just joking…

]]> By: SabineM http://bleedingespresso.com/2007/09/legislating-the-seven-year-itch.html#comment-5305 SabineM Sun, 23 Sep 2007 18:59:00 +0000 http://siteground218.com/~bleedin2/?p=252#comment-5305 Oh My! That is insane!<br/>Plus what if your "7-year itch" happens at 6 1/2 years or 9 years! <br/>Why even bother getting married if you have a 7 year window....<br/>My god with everything going on in this world, why are politician wasting time on this issue!??!<br/><br/>PS been married 15 years this year. So that means I have gone through two 7 year itches! ;-) It hasn't always been a pic nic, but we took our marriage vows seriously and we worked through them! Ups and Downs is what it is about. And if you have an out, then why bother! Oh My! That is insane!
Plus what if your “7-year itch” happens at 6 1/2 years or 9 years!
Why even bother getting married if you have a 7 year window….
My god with everything going on in this world, why are politician wasting time on this issue!??!

PS been married 15 years this year. So that means I have gone through two 7 year itches! ;-) It hasn’t always been a pic nic, but we took our marriage vows seriously and we worked through them! Ups and Downs is what it is about. And if you have an out, then why bother!

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